Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Part 1: Dating in London: Where's my Mark Darcy?

Let's see, since I 've been in London I dated a man from Israel, Ireland, England, Scotland, India ( but was born in Kenya and raised in London, hence a definitely an English bloke likes rugby and drinking pints of Guiness), Pakistan, Italy, Spain,Iran, Egypt, and then of course one my paisano, American man. I don't think I can think of anyone else. They have all been just a one off one time thing. Only with the Italian was it a full fledge relationship thing.Anyway, so I definitely have my opinions of men from many different lands.

The United Kingdom men: English, Welsh, Irish, and Scottish men. English men since they are of Anglo Saxon ancestry most are very fair with blue eyes. Most are reserved,chivalrous,intelligent and polite. English men are gentlemen through and through and always want to do the right thing. Once in awhile you'll meet someone that's sexy in a Hugh Grant( althgouth I am not a big fan of Hugh Grant..and thought he was a wanker with Liz Hurley) bad boy kind of way, he'll be a mixture of gentleness, elegance and manliness that can be rather exciting and very sexy. Although, with English men are so afraid of intimacy that they'll probably propose marriage to you via text, and then wonder why you don't reply straight away. Oh, I forgot to mention he'll proably have to drink 5 pints of guiness because he 's so shy. The Scottish men since they are Celtic (like the Irish and Welsh)are much darker in appearance: darker hair,eyes and eyebrows (makes me think of the commercial for BRAWNY paper towels) and to me as a whole race of men are much sexier than their English brothers. (Sorry Hugh Grant, Colin Firth!)There the type of men that might sweep you away and take you in the bushes like a lumber jack. They are also more honest and direct than English men and don't mind hurting your feelings or making you feel a wee bit uncomfortable to get a message across. The positive of that quality is not wasting time, yours or thiers. That's a good thing. Their Scottish accent is quite charming they have lilt when they speak to you. Oh but the Irish men are the most charming of the UK men; very warm, and friendly. And their accent is the opitomy of charming. For example they will say " What kind of TINGS do you like to do in your spare time? We have dated TREE (three) times Miss Sabrina isn't time for a little kiss?? ( heehee). Come on just one kiiiis dahling.
Adorable.

Moving on to the Asian community: Pakistani and Indian men are quite protective, fun, generous, but are a bit rough around the edges. I dated an Indian man and although he was sweet, warm, very generous and a great kisser, he had a very abrupt and slightly aggressive side to him when he spoke to me. He also didn't like it that I said thank you for every time he did somethign nice for me. For example, he took me out for cocktails and appetisers in one restaurant and I said thank you. Then he took me out for dinner I said, " thank you" again. Then, we went out to the movies and had a blast at the end of the movie I said "thank you" again. I think he bought me a pair of gloves because my hands were freezing and I said, "thank you" again. He finally just said, " Sabrina, you only have to say thank you one time." I said, " Oh !" " I didn't know that!" I was raised to always say thank you no matter what. I didn't know someone would have a problem with me saying thank you too many times. I thought it was weird. But, it's a cultural difference. Also, in India I was told ( my friend Sami Kahn) that you don't need to say thank you or please very often because when you do it builds distance. You only say thank you and please with people you don't know very well or people you want to keep a healthy distance from. Weird man ! I had to break it off with the Indian bloke I decided he was just looking for a pretty thing that he can boss around and have chicken vindaloo ready for him when he comes home from work,as a Banker at Deutsche Bank.
( Boriiiiiiiiiiiing) I am yawning.

What else? Israeli men get the prize for most rude. They are very upfront. They don't say honey, sweetie, please, thank you. They tell you what's on thier mind without any regard to your feelings. They are combative, macho and aggressive. I think it has to do with growing up in a war zone and just surving in fighting for your life. Even the Israeli women say that Israeli men are rude. They are super good looking though: they have great skin, dark eyes and hair and are really tan and luscious in a midterranean sexy way. This one man I dated was perfect, except for his rudeness(well, that's a big thing) and his body odor !! When I brought it to his attention that he needed to put some deodarant on under his pits. He just replied, " You are sooooooo sensitive. I am from the Middle East and that the women back home love my manly smell!" I said, " Yeah but you smell like an onion "! Wait to you go to the US see if the chicks will dig your onion smell. We aren't in Israel anymore sweethaaaaaart !" No more Israelis !

Italians are very charming they make you feel great about yourself they shower you with gifts, compliments and adoration. They are also the most romantic of the whole male race. They send you dozens of romantic texts.They call you " amore mio !" That was my name when I was with my Italian bloke " Amore mio this and Amore mio that!" They will bring you presents everyday. Designer clothes just in your right size. Italian hand bags in real leather that smells like true cow hide. Gorgeous bottles of perfume. Classic books of Jane Austen, written inside the flap how much they adore you. But is it all sincere? It probably is sincere. But dont' expect them to be faithful it's not in their genes. Italian men are so sucesssful with women because they make you feel like you are the most gorgeous women in the world. They also do this with probably a half dozen women at the same time they do it to you. I question their sincerity, but on the other hand they could be sincere. I think they just love women, it's a cultural thing.

Another great thing about an Italian man is that they are very gentlemanly. They will carry your bags. Take you to your front door step.Make sure you get home safely. Make you chicken soup when you are sick.They will pay for everything and feel insulted if you offer to pay anything.If you are dating an Italian, buyer beware. He probably has a wife back in Italy with two children, a mistress in Poland that he's had for 2 or three years, and on top of that half a dozen other flirtations t that he's probably met online. In the meanwhile, he's telling you how much he adores you and he can't wait to introduce you to his Mom and his family. He can't wait for you to live with him back home in Italy and teach you Italian, the language of love. He's lying to you, he's lying to her, he's lying to himself. (Just roll your eyes and don't believe a word he says). Start making plans to leave your lover. Don't buy into their generosity and their charm. But, they make good friends those Italian men. They are naturally warm and endearing. The only thing is who wants to be friends with a bloody liar.On a positve note, if you can put up with their philandering you might come out a winner. You'll have a great wardrobe know more Italian and know how to cook Cannelloni and crush grapes with your bare feet.

I dated my paisano Americano in London. Before I came to London I never much fancied American men. I thought they were rough around the edges, unsophisticated, not well travelled. All these cliches that the whole world about Americans I also thougt the same thing too. I know it's a shame that I could think so poorly of my own people. Back home I also dated many sophisticated, well travelled and highly educated men. But, something inside me was turned off by American men. Perhaps, the grsass is always greener on the other side. Living in London has taught me to appreciate American men more. After dating men from about 10 different countries, I can finally assess honestly that American men are the most generous, kind, open, feminist, and straightforward. I dated an American man he always insited on walking on the outside of the street just in case someone splashed water on my hoop skirt ( heehe).He was very gentlemanly and always offered to carry my big satchel. On the other hand, when I told them that I had myriad of professions they rooted my multi talentedness and diversity instead of making me out as some circus freak that can't focus. They are also very generous to everyone: they tip the waitress and taxi drivers 20%, whether they are rich or not. I think American appreciate my ambition,assertiveness and straighforwardness. Where with alot of European men they are threatened by my strength, an American man can handle me and bring out my best. My Italian boyfriend told me one time he thought I was too masculine. I just told him he was too feminine and that he could not handle me. ( He also couldn't change a light bulb to save his life. When I asked him to change the light bulb it took him two months, then when he finally did he broke the light bulb and he broke the fuse.) Whateeevah! I also think American men are more spiritual, espcially Califo rnian men. Most men in the world American or not, are just not interested in spirituality. They don't get it in the way women are naturally talking about Star Signs and the supernatural. That's just men for you ! Some English men though,unless they are Buddhist or are from Glastonbury ( is a new age village known for it's hippies and new age airy fairies )don't understand a thing about spirituality; karma, or New Age philosophy, metaphysics. It's not that they are closed off to it, sometimes they are interested in it and ask me lots of questions. But, many thinks it's airy fairy to talk about this stuff. It's just not in the culture so don't even bother.

So ladies if you can accept some of what I mentioned about Englsh culture English culture and try and focus on the postive qualities of English men (immigrants: European/ Middle Eastern/ Asian men),you are going to have a really fun adventure and unforgettable time. And, stories definitely you can tell your grandchildren and your friends and family back home.

I can write a book dedicated to dating around the world, but this is just a glimpse of my vast experiences. These are my personal experiences with men in London that has made me a wiser woman. OK dolls this has been my own uique experiences now be brave date as many men as possible and get back to me ( lol!) Maybe, we can write a book together.. Huh? Anyone out there, want to co-write a book with me?

Note Bene: Some of these vignettes are gross generalizations and gross exagerrations, it's all meant in the spirit of humanistic humor and fun.
No offense is meant so no offense is taken.If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Stay Tuned
Part 2:Dating in London: What it's like to date an English man.

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