Thursday, 28 January 2010

Part 5: Dating in London: Finding Mr. Darcy: Do yourself a favor and learn How to Use a Phone

In this day and age, where we rely so much on technology, we are actually forgetting how to talk to one another, wheter in person or on the phone. We rely so much on texting,messenger chat,emailing each other, that we isolate one another,avoid intimacy and connection with another human being.

I had dated a guy one time and of course, had a nice connection.Subsequently,he continued to text me for 5 months. So, by this time I just kind of lose interest and get very frustrated. We had planned on seeing each other and had it all organized and he cancelled on me, of course, via text. That's annoying. Finally, I texted him and said he really wanted to see me, but that his business made him travel alot and that he was a really busy CEO, blah blah blah.He mentioned that we could get together once he was back in town. Fine, that's no problem it's not like I am waiting and holding my breath for him. Like they said,"lots of fish in the sea." Anyway, He didn't text me back until 3 weeks later, by then I was on to the new flavor of the week. He texted me finally after 3 weeks to invite me to his home gym to work out.(Working out and getting all sweaty in front of a man who will possibly be your boyfriend in the future, I am sorry to say doesn't not strike me as sexy or not romantic.)First of all, I am not going to visit a man, ever. Especially those first three or four dates.Of course, once we are an established couple.But, in the beggining, I won't budge an inch from my home to visit a man I am potentially seing. I don't care if he looks like George Clooney(I actually met him once in the Warner Brothers Parking lot, anyway, that's neither here nor there, and I'll save my name dropping for another time). Maybe, I'll compromise and meet someone half way. But, that's a big MAYBE!) You see, where I come from, and (I am sure it's here in the UK too, but maybe not with my generation of men), but the men go out of their way to come look for you. My Great Grand-father Cady drove three days in a horse and carriage to visit my Great Grandmother across rocky mountains,weathered all kinds of capricious weather and possibly rattle snakes.So, why should courting rituals change 100 years later? I haven't changed and I suppose they we are raised is sometimes very engrained in the fabric of our being.

Anyway, after 5 months of him texting me, I finally I was so fed up after 5 months of his texting me I just texted him and said why doesn't he be a man and just call me and ask me out on a proper date.He texted me back to tell me that I was an arrogant princess. Whatevaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!He doesn't know the clues about dating or common courtesy.He obviously was interested in me, or he would not have texted me so persistently. I just boil it down to him being super shy, which he actually admitted.

If a man is shy, it's not my problem.One thing women like about men is there confidence. Confidence is the single most attractive thing about the opposite sex. You could be bald but if you have confidence, you could be very sexy. Or, you could have a bit of a tummy, but if you have confidence you could be sexy. You could be in between jobs, but if you got confidence. Women like the fact that men are confident and sometimes ballsy(supposed to have more testosterone then us ladies whereby making them more ballsy). That's why opposites attract: women want to be with their opposite. If women are supposed to be passive and demure, well they want to be with their opposite of that, which is someone with some masculine drive and a take charge attitude.They want to be with man, not a scared shy little boy.If you aren't man enough to call a woman then you are going to loose out.Because by the time you've mustered the courage to do so she'll probably have lost interest in you. And, no woman is going to want to be with you if you don't have any courage.

I have always liked the quote by the Mexican actress Salma Hayek and I feel the same when she says,"I am looking for a man with more balls than me!"

So,Just pick up the phone and call the poor girl. Swear up and down, drink a half a pint, take some speech classes, hold on to your balls(sorry, I don't mean to be so unlady like, but I haven't said a curse word since I was in high school and so I deserve this one),whatever, just call the girl.It's really not that hard. Most importantly, it will save a lot of time, both yours and hers.

For an interesting book about the courting rituals of the Regency period, read,"Jane Austen's Guide to Dating". I am waiting for the day,when an admirer writes me a clandestine hand written note or invites me to a mask ball on the finest linen paper with old fashion sealing wax, which will be deliverd by the butler. Sometimes, I ask myself, do I fit in this time period? Are my standards too high? Well, whatever it is, I think there is someone out there that thinks just like me and I have faith that one day our paths will meet and when it does it will be magical!

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