I have been dating for nearly 2 decades, so I think I have some advice to share.
I have dated men from all over the world. I have shopped around like my Mamma told me. But, here in my quest of trying to find Mr. Darcy and kissing a lot of frogs I would like to share some advice for all the blokes and dudes out there on what not to do on the first initial date, which usually predict the success and ensures a second date.This is meant for men. Here's some advice for all the men out there.
Don't's for Guys:
1. Don't be too desperate to try to kiss her
or hold her hand- let things develop naturally.
Story: I was at my brother's wedding and an old boyfriend from 20 years
back was there. He tried very hard to kiss me and chased me all over the dance floor and through out this very elegant hotel my brother had his reception. It was really embarrassing for me. When I found out that he was going to be there I was excited and anticipated something romantic. But, he was so aggressive that he turned me off and made me realized he hadn't changed much from way back when we were in high school.
2.Dont' talk about the future with her. Don't try to create a relationship when there's none. Don't start to ask her if she's seeing other guys. Or, if she's waiting
for you. Or,if she'll have your children.If you are meeting with friends:don't imply to your other friends that you make a cute couple.
Story: I had a date I met through Craigslist and we were getting along and he mentioned to me that he wanted to buy property with me. He asked me how many children I wanted to have. I know you are trying not to waste time out there and your trying to find out as much about me as possible in as short of time as possible, but puuuuuuuuuuuuleeeeeeeeeeeeeze can you be a bit more subtle?
3.Dont' boss her around. It seems like a lot of men like to give advice, but it's unsolicited. Or men are really interested in material toys and so they want everyone to have the same toys as they have. This is great with another gal that's into material things but if she's not, you are gong to turn her off. I personally don't enjoy people to tell me what to do ,( unless it's my parents, family or a really good friend or maybe my future husband) which is why I run my own business and why I don't like to work for other people. Anyway, there are women that like to be bossed around, but I am not one of them. I don't think most intelligent, educated women enjoy being bossed around. So anyway, don't do it. It makes you seem a bit chauvanistic and wankeristic.
I dated a man once who was clever, funny,ambitious,charming but then he annoyed me. He annoyed me because he started telling me how I should buy a new camera. It really made me mad, because at the time I quite fancied my camera and secondly I didn't have the budget to buy a new camera. What if she doesn't want to buy a new camera or she can't afford to. Your advice will be resented. It's the first date, who are you to tell her what she needs to do.
4. Don't talk about anything remotely that has to do with sex
You want to get to know someone gradually. You don't want all the fire to burn out in the first date.Or do you?I am not sure, but men should just learn to control themselves.They'll go farther faster if they just don't act like such love sick high school boys.
Story: This man on our second date over drinks said that he liked porno and that he bought some movies yesterday.I was so utterly repelled,I excused myself to go to the powder room and never came back.
5.Don't talk about Kama Sutra and how you would like to try
out a new position with. This really shows a lack of taste and grace.
And, it makes the lady feel that your just out with her for one thing only. Even, if she has attraction for you, she'll be immediately turned off, unless
she's Samantha from Sex and The City.
Story: I really had a date once that half way through the date everything was perfect:he was really cute, charming and sweet.I thought we were getting on. And then he had to ruin it by asking me if I would like to try a Kama Sutra position. I was turned off and disappointed, especially since we had been having so much fun.The truth is I told my date how disappointing I was and he apologized and said that he was sorry that he hadn't had much experience dating.Fair Enough.He was very young so I cut him some slack. I felt really sorry for him and just changed the subject.
So, you see men with some advice from the opposite gender you'll begin to see the way women see things and perhaps it will open up a different world for you.Either way, it will give you some things to think about and ponder.
Stay Tuned for more
Look for More Dating DONTS for Men in coming SABRINA'S LONDON DIARIES