Showing posts with label Dating in London. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating in London. Show all posts

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Sabrina's London Diaries- The End of an Era ~ The End of Part 1

Dear Reader of Sabrina's London Diaries:

I went to London in September 2008 just for a 3 week vacation. I was in my third semester of Graduate school, getting my MFA in Creative Writing at Goddard College and writing a Musical.  On the first night I arrived, the man I went to visit,  told me, " I'm sorry your not the one !"  I decided to not go home with my tail between my legs and decided to make the best of a bad situation and live there. Being what I laughingly, call, " dumped upon arrival", was the best thing that ever happened to me, I took my feelings of rejection and remorse and turned things around for the better. I realized this man was not my enemy, but my manivater ( a man that motivates) and catalyst for making me do my Human Revolution I ended up living in London  for two years and it was the best two years of my life ! 


 This blog is part travel journal, part personal memoir, sometimes private and sometimes not. I write about my initial culture shock of living in London, in articles, such as: My Initial Impressions of the Drinking Habits of the English and Some Language Differences I find Funny.

I also write about my Dating conundrums and mishaps in a self-deprecating blog (blog series within this blog),called, "Finding Mr. Darcy"---- a serious Austenite my dating blogs look at the romantic life of a single girl through a 18th century lens looking backwards, but then racing towards the future with exuberant optimism.   Having the opportunity to date and experience men from all over the globe, I write as a Romantic Anthropoligist, in blogs such as: Are Italian Men Really Great Lovers ? Israeli Soldier vs. English Gentleman, The Rugged vs. The Refined, and Dating in London: American Cowboy vs. English Bloke

Being absolutely nutty about History and it's great people, I also write about some of History's greatest people: Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, Jane Austen, and of course, Harry Potter

This blog evolved from someone telling me that I should write about my experience in London. One year and a half later, I am still writing about my experience in London. I came back to Los Angeles in 2010, after a 2 years sojourn in London, and I found that it has changed so much. But, it's like in the movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Benjamin Button, says in the movie as he narrates his story, after he comes home for being gone so long and traveling all over the world, " It's not that Tenessee has changed it's that I have changed."  And, so, it's not that Los Angeles has changed so much, or even America, it's that I had changed. My views and perceptions of life and the world have changed along with that and I will never be the same. Living in London has changed the way I see the world, and now the way I see myself in the world and that is why I must share what I learned !


Living in London for me, was an absolute dream come true. In my blog, I live to tell the tale and I am still telling it after all these years, and plan to publish my memoirs.



affectionately,

Sabrina Grace~

p.s. This is the End of the First Part of Sabrina's London Diaries. In the future, I will be publishing more blogs on Jane Austen, Book Reviews, Dating in Los Angeles, Culture in Los Angeles, Food,  and Green Living.  As well as, anecdotal commentary on society in English society and my new perspective on the world, living and thriving again in Los Angeles, California as a Language InstructorChef and Writer.











All blogs are written by Sabrina Rongstad-Bravo More Tales and Adventures in Sabrina's London Diaries

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Thursday, 28 June 2012

Dating in London: American cowboy vs. English bloke

Before I came to London I never much fancied American men. I thought they were rough around the edges,unsophisticated, loud, obnoxious, and not well traveled. All these clichés that the whole world thinks and believes about Americans I also thought the same thing too. I know it's a shame that I could think so poorly of my own people. But, some of those clichés and generalizations do hold some truth. I know from experience. Back home, I also dated many sophisticated, well traveled and highly educated men. But, something inside me was turned off by American men. Perhaps, the grass is always greener on the other side and I preferred the flavor of some different more exotic food than what I was used to or what was in front of me.

Living in London has taught me to appreciate American men more. After dating men from about 10 different countries, I can finally assess honestly that American men are the most generous, kind, open, feminist, and straightforward. I dated an American man he always insisted on walking on the outside of the street just in case someone splashed water on my hoop skirt ( hee hee). He was very gentlemanly and always offered to carry my big satchel. On the other hand, when I told them that I had myriad of professions they rooted my multi- talented and diversity instead of making me out as some circus freak that can't focus.They are also very generous to everyone: they tip the waitress and taxi drivers 20%, whether they are rich or not. I think American men appreciate my ambition, assertiveness and straightforwardness. Where with a lot of European men they are threatened by my strength, an American man can handle me and bring out my best. My Italian boyfriend told me one time he thought I was too masculine. I just told him he was too feminine and that he could not handle me.He also couldn't change a light bulb to save his life.  When I asked him to change the light bulb it took him two months, then when he finally did he broke the light bulb and he broke the fuse. Italian men have a bit of a dandy in them and take preening to the extreme. I do start to worry when a man I am dating has over preoccupation with his looks and with fashion more than I do. Anyway, we are talking about American men not Italian men. So let's not get off the subject.

Whateeevah! I also think American men are more spiritual, especially Californian men. Most men in the world American or not, are just not interested in spirituality. They don't get it in the way women are naturally talking about Star Signs and the supernatural. That's just men for you !Some English men though, unless they are Buddhist or are from Glastonbury ( is a new age village known for it's hippies and new age airy fairies don't understand a thing about spirituality; karma, or New Age philosophy, metaphysics. It's not that they are closed off to it, sometimes they are interested in it and ask me lots of questions. But, many thinks it's airy fairy to talk about this stuff. It's just not in the culture so don't even bother. So ladies if you can accept some of what I mentioned about English culture English culture and try and focus on the positive qualities of English men (immigrants: European/ Middle Eastern/ Asian men),you are going to have a really fun adventure and unforgettable time. And stories definitely you can tell your grandchildren and your friends and family back home. I can write a book dedicated to dating around the world, but this is just a glimpse of my vast experiences. These are my personal experiences with men in London that has made me a wiser woman. OK dolls this has been my own unique experiences now be brave date as many men as possible and get back to me (lol!) Maybe, we can write a book together.. Huh? Anyone out there, want to co-write a book with me?

Note Bene: Some of these vignettes are gross generalizations and gross exaggerations, it's all meant in the spirit of humanistic humor and fun. No offense is meant so no offense is taken. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Monday, 14 June 2010

Part 3: Peace in the Middle East Tosos in London Monday Nights


Me, with four other Israeli Buddhist. Roshashana - The Jewish New Year- October 2008.

 Chanting for Peace inthe Middle East. This photo was taken with a group of Israelis, who also happen to be  Nicheren Buddhist,and chant a mantra ( Nam Myoho Renge Kyo), to awaken one's Buddha nature.Every Monday night, there is a tozo (an extended prayer session for more than 1 hour) for Peace in the Middle East.


Will there ever be Peace in the Middle East? Maybe not tomorrow, or the immediate future, but who knows maybe one day there will be peace in the Holy Land. The Zionist movement was created because the Jewish people have been a homeless people since the time of ancient Egypt. Israel was created in the forties right after World War 2 to create a homeland. But, Zionism started much earlier than this. If you like Literature, read Daniel Deronda (Oxford World's Classics)one of my favorite books written by George Eliot, she writes about Zionism in Victorian London. 

Perhaps,finally they will have a place to call their own without intervention from the United States, without dissension and agrimony from Palestininans. At last, Israel will at last have a harmonioius homeland.And,the Palestinians who have suffered tremendously against the very powerful force of the Israeli army, will also have PEACE. At this point, there can be no more blaming the other side. Each person, has to fight with their own fundamental darkness for there to be lasting peace, just like in your own family.

Either way, it is never a waste of time or waste of energy to do something positive for the world. To chant for PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.You may think it's naive,a waste of time to chant for Peace in the Middle East. You can think whatever you want. You may rather watch Seinfield with your husband and wife of Monday nights,than get off your tush and chant, but I am going to keep chanting for Peace in the Middle East and so will my other friends.



Me, with Yariv Perelmuter. Yariv is an Israeli Buddhist who has been practicing Buddhism for 5 years.
He's a Comedian/ Social worker. I met him when he was on Holiday in San Francisco and we stayed in touch for about 1 1/2 years, until  I came to London and he "dumped me upon arrival". Literally, just after arriving from Heathrow airport. Well, at least he didn't string me along like so many men do.  He was a bit rude like most Israeli men, but the positive side of being rude is that the people are usually very honest and sincere. My Buddhist training has taught me to see the bright side of everything and everyone.Needless to say, I forgave him, not right away of course, or I would be lying, but after chanting a lot and turning poison into medicine, and doing beaucoup human revolution,  I realize that he was my manivator and I should appreciate him for being a catalyst and getting me to London, otherwise, I just would have procrastinated. I  wish him all the best with in his life and career. I do hopes he finds the right deodarant and learns how to wash his clothes. ( LOL !) They had this moldy smell on them like he washed them in London rain and never brought them in to dry. Whoosh! and Pewie !! (Anyway, Nothing like a bit of light hearted humor. If you are reading this, I sure hope you can take a joke. God knows you like to dish 'em out. ) If your reading this I am chanting that you find the right anti-perspirant Yariv, or a woman who  can tolerate your Middle Eastern JUNGLE smell. Anyway, Yariv is a very funny and intelligent comedian, his humor is his weapon, making jokes about world issues,he sheds  light on some of the world's heaviest topics in the name of  Kosen Rufu (World Peace.) He didn't have to serve the compulsory 2 years in the Israeli army because he's Diabetic. I told him that was his good fortune. I have a feeling that he could eventually make it as a Comedian. And, I have a feeling I'll eventually find a man that knows a thing or two about hygeine. Everybody will get what they want in the end.

Like Shakespeare said, " All well that ends well".

It's really a wonderful world !



Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Sabrina's London Diaries: Finding Mr. Darcy: Israeli soldier vs. English Scholar; The Rugged vs. The Refined

I didn't post this blog a bit back when I wrote it. Melchett Mike is about an Expatriate Londoner of Jewish lawyer origins who decides he wants to live in Israel for a time in his life. It's an excellent and entertaining blog about every facet of Israeli life, including dating and relationships.
This is what Mike wrote about his brothers in Israel the Philistine with the small pee.. I always say consider the source.

Sabrina's London Diaries: Finding Mr. Darcy: Israeli soldier vs. English Scholar; The Rugged vs. The Refined



Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Every Woman Should Date an English Gentleman Once in Her Life


Images and feelings that conjure up a classic English gentleman are images that non-English women carry from the movies they have seen: Colin Firth comes to mind, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom, James Bond (but, Sean Connery was Scottish).


At first, when I came to London, I didn’t like the English men, I didn’t come to London to find an English gentleman,in the first place. My original intention was to give it a go with this Israeli Comedian I had met a few years ago in San Francisco.Anyway, I never liked English men, except for Colin Firth, with his dark looks, mysterious swagger, and retro side burns.( But what are my chances of meeting Colin Firth. And, besides he’s married to an Italian lady.) To me, I was not that attracted to English men. Too pale I thought. Too blond I thought, too thin lipped for my big full lips I thought, and to me, simply unapproachable to a warm and friendly American girl,too reserved, drinks too much and is closed emotionally. And, my tirade against the English men persisted through my head, like the drills in my neigborhood to restore the Victorian pipes.  Do forgive me, but English men have never been my cup of tea. Especially, as long as English men that did befriend me, insisted on having a relationship with their text messages instead of having a relationship with me on some level. I found these little things awfully annoying and such a time waster that my belief that the English man was not for me, (and would never be) had become more engrained in my system and my being for a very long time. And, the idea of having that notion reversed, was for me highly unlikely.


For the sake of curiosity, experimentation and just plain fun, I continued to explore the wanton and exciting possibilities of more exotic cultures. How about Pakistan, India, Japan.And, to no avail, they were all a big blob of disappointment in my dating landscape. The Indian men were bossy and macho. The Pakistani men a bit too blunt, bordering on the tactless,and they all get married by the time their 25 anyway, so that’s not a lot of single available good looking Pakistani men anyway. Israeli men are obnoxious and macho. Japanese men were too quiet and boring, unless, they were drunk and singing at a Karoake bar. Israeli men don’t use deodorant,and think of their dates as a combat zone, and part of their compulsory training for the Israeili army. Oh, and Italian men, charming, but charming to everyone. Who needs that? You can keep your lasagna and your designer suits.

Remember, I am an American woman. We aren’t used to the blatant philandering that happens in a lot of European cultures, that is perfectably acceptable and expected with a lot of other women. We aren’t used to cowering to a man’s will and dominion. Of following behind him, like you see in Japanese cultures, even to his day.We aren’t used to men’s armpits smelling like a grapefruit.We aren’t used to stumbling upon your man’s diary, only to find that he is scribbling in dates with other women behind your back in cryptic language, probably in code to hide his tracks( you see my Father was well versed in Sherlock Holmes and taught me to be a petit Sherlock Holmes) when you are on a weekend trip to Oxford.

Anyway, I continued to befriend everyone, all cultures with an open mind and heart unjaded and untainted by my previous dating conundrums, disappointments, and mishaps. I continued to date men, even from the English culture. My father was part English, of course, I was not going to reject an English man, just because of my silly prejudices and my previous bad experiences. Of course, I was going to be open to the English culture, I was in the country after all, studying, observing, listening with my soul and every cell in my being to all that England had to offer.

But something happened,three quarters of the way through my trip, I met an English gentleman unexpectedly at an Internet café and I fell in love. Or, I became infatuated. He was quintessentially English: schooled at Cambridge, very shy, reserved, proper in public, never cursed, always was extremely apologetic and courteous, very polite, self deprecating, extremely well mannered ( always said please, thank you and I am sorry willingly and without restraintm unlike American men, or even Italian men, they are the worse about apologizing, it's really detestable), funny , used deodorant, genuinely interested in me and my brain, my life, very considerate, gentle, yet very manly.

 Our first date, was unforgettable, we had a big lunch at The Orangery,( the big tea palace with long Greek Columns), right next to Kensington Palace, since we had eaten so much we went on a romantic stroll in Hyde Park and held hands. While we were walking and getting to know each other, I discovered I was currently reading his favorite book, Guns Germs and Steel. What a coincidence! And, needless to say, we always had so much to talk about. Our subsequent dates were fun and with lively conversation and romantic intrigue.He was always very charming and I always enjoyed his company. Then, he followed up with another 4 months of long drawn out literary emails and perfectly succinct, yet romantic text messages. I figured he he had another girlfriend,which is just fine, and started dating other people and reading more books, so in case we started dating again, I could have something to talk with him about. But, about 2 months, before I left to go back to the USA, we started seeing each other again. We reignited very quickly the previous spark we had 5 months earlier. And, they say that the English are cold, the English are reserved, not necessarily cold. Their behavior sometimes goes back to Victorian times, where it was considered in poor taste to show emotion in public.



He ended up being not just romantic with his texts, his emails, but his communication style was always very very poetic and eloquent, that he always inspired me when I spoke to him.  He was heavenly perfection in speech. And, always said the right thing at the right time,and  in some mysterious way he always touched me. I am sorry, but I can't tell you everything, you'll have to leave it to your imaginagtion. But,  I will tell you he  was very affectionate, sensuous, a fabulous kisser, romantic,generous, and the embodiment of finesse. Even  holding hands and walking in Hyde Park, he was quintessentially elegant. He blew me away, with all my expectations and notions of an English men.   He was an English gentleman and a scholar. And, if I didn’t like English gentleman to begin with, by the end of my trip, I most certainly did. Every woman should date an English Gentleman once in her life, even if it was short lived, to me, it was a magical experience, one I shall never forget as long as I live.





















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Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Finding Mr. Darcy: Israeli soldier vs. English Scholar; The Rugged vs. The Refined

Dear Ladies and Gentleman,If you are married consider yourself to be lucky, dating is a chore and a job. If you are single consider yourself lucky too, because being married is a job. But,I'd rather be single and a spinster than unhappily married.


Dating in London: Israeli soldier vs.English gentleman. There could not be two races of men, or two species of men more disparate from each other that I couldn’t resist writing about it. I have dated English men in America and English men in England. I have dated Israeli men in America and Israeli men in London. What I haven’t done thus far, is date an Israeli man in his own country,Israel.


Where the English man is quiet, reserved unassumingly polite, The Israeil man is insensitive, rude to the point of being obnoxious. The English are famous, the world over for their impeccable manners, their coyness, their indirect manner, subtlety, tact and gentleness. There over all, certriain composure in public places. And, don’t like a lot of PDA, public display of affection. Where the English man courts you, wines and dines you and takes you to chic restaurants and classy hotels for afternoon tea,and sends long emails to express his affection,the Israeli man’s idea of a date is to have coffee in his flat on his bed. His idea of communication, writing a missive note and sending you 5 texts as to why you should come over to his house, even though you already told him you didn’t want to come to his house for the tenth time.


Where the English man is shy about revealing his feelings and sometimes has to drink 3 pints of Guinness before he does so, the Israeli man will move full speed ahead and make his physical attraction and feelings known quite fast and early on. The Israeli man will take you to visit his family right after the first date. I once dated an Israeli man in Los Angeles, and after the first date, he invited me for the second date for dinner at his sister’s house, followed by a party at the synagogue the same evening. I was quite flattered, and though wow, he must really like me. I did some research online, to find, that this is a common custom of Israeli men. The family is so close knit that they include you in their plans even when they first meet you. I thought it was sweet. Apparently, Israeli are very keen on finding a woman and settling down to make a family. That’s a very nice quality and I think saves a lot of time. English men, on the other hand, would shy away from any kind of family meeting until well after they have established that you were going to be the woman that they were going to marry. It’s pretty much the same anyway. But, come on, it’s very flattering if a man you just started dating wants to introduce you right away to his family. I love that shit! And, women are suckers for that because we start thinking of wedding bells right away and that’s how are brains are programmed. (My American Jewish boyfriend back home, waited at least 1 year to introduce fly me to Boston and introduce me to his family. We aren’t together anymore, but I am still friends with his parents. Why not, they raised a cool son.)


I have to admit that the confident braggadocio of the Israeli man can be very sexy. I once met an Israeli man at a café, he was interested in Buddhism and said that he chanted my same mantra before ( Nam Myoho Renge Kyo).I took him to the Buddhist meeting and told him we would only be friends. After about two weeks of his calling, texting me, and emailing me , and wearing me down, I FINALLY agreed to go on a date with him. During our date, we were on our way to the concert venue, he saw that I was scared to cross the street, he grabbed my hand with such force and walked so confidently across the street, that I thought that he was a general in the army. He did it and I was quite impressed. Women, I think all over the world, like a man, that shows some manliness and bravado. I believe, Israeli men have that kind of brave front from serving in the Israeli army.( It’s compulsory training that all Israeli’s including women serve for two years.) It’s quite sexy, but in small doses. That same kind of bravado can whirl into shades of machoism, which is a big turn off and can send a feminist woman like myself running the other way.


Another clear distinction of these two male animals, is that where the English man is progressive and modern about women’s rights. The Israeli is the opposite and downright macho and sexist. On the second date with the same Israeli man, he started telling me how I should dress to please him. I said wait a minute," I am not your girlfriend, I haven’t even kissed you. What right do you have to try and tell me what to do?" Whoa! The chutzpah of this man.


I think the best man for me,would have the would the manly bravado of the Israeli man, with a balance of the refined, cultured, intellectual English gentleman. Is there such a man?









Tom Poulton: The Secret Art of an English Gentleman


Tom Poulton: The Secret Art of an English Gentleman




More Tales and Adventures in Sabrina's London Diaries

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Part 5: Dating in London: Finding Mr. Darcy: Do yourself a favor and learn How to Use a Phone

In this day and age, where we rely so much on technology, we are actually forgetting how to talk to one another, wheter in person or on the phone. We rely so much on texting,messenger chat,emailing each other, that we isolate one another,avoid intimacy and connection with another human being.



I had dated a guy one time and of course, had a nice connection.Subsequently,he continued to text me for 5 months. So, by this time I just kind of lose interest and get very frustrated. We had planned on seeing each other and had it all organized and he cancelled on me, of course, via text. That's annoying. Finally, I texted him and said he really wanted to see me, but that his business made him travel alot and that he was a really busy CEO, blah blah blah.He mentioned that we could get together once he was back in town. Fine, that's no problem it's not like I am waiting and holding my breath for him. Like they said,"lots of fish in the sea." Anyway, He didn't text me back until 3 weeks later, by then I was on to the new flavor of the week. He texted me finally after 3 weeks to invite me to his home gym to work out.(Working out and getting all sweaty in front of a man who will possibly be your boyfriend in the future, I am sorry to say doesn't not strike me as sexy or not romantic.)First of all, I am not going to visit a man, ever. Especially those first three or four dates.Of course, once we are an established couple.But, in the beggining, I won't budge an inch from my home to visit a man I am potentially seing. I don't care if he looks like George Clooney(I actually met him once in the Warner Brothers Parking lot, anyway, that's neither here nor there, and I'll save my name dropping for another time). Maybe, I'll compromise and meet someone half way. But, that's a big MAYBE!) You see, where I come from, and (I am sure it's here in the UK too, but maybe not with my generation of men), but the men go out of their way to come look for you. My Great Grand-father Cady drove three days in a horse and carriage to visit my Great Grandmother across rocky mountains,weathered all kinds of capricious weather and possibly rattle snakes.So, why should courting rituals change 100 years later? I haven't changed and I suppose they we are raised is sometimes very engrained in the fabric of our being.




Anyway, after 5 months of him texting me, I finally I was so fed up after 5 months of his texting me I just texted him and said why doesn't he be a man and just call me and ask me out on a proper date.He texted me back to tell me that I was an arrogant princess. Whatevaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!He doesn't know the clues about dating or common courtesy.He obviously was interested in me, or he would not have texted me so persistently. I just boil it down to him being super shy, which he actually admitted.



If a man is shy, it's not my problem.One thing women like about men is there confidence. Confidence is the single most attractive thing about the opposite sex. You could be bald but if you have confidence, you could be very sexy. Or, you could have a bit of a tummy, but if you have confidence you could be sexy. You could be in between jobs, but if you got confidence. Women like the fact that men are confident and sometimes ballsy(supposed to have more testosterone then us ladies whereby making them more ballsy). That's why opposites attract: women want to be with their opposite. If women are supposed to be passive and demure, well they want to be with their opposite of that, which is someone with some masculine drive and a take charge attitude.They want to be with man, not a scared shy little boy.If you aren't man enough to call a woman then you are going to loose out.Because by the time you've mustered the courage to do so she'll probably have lost interest in you. And, no woman is going to want to be with you if you don't have any courage.



I have always liked the quote by the Mexican actress Salma Hayek and I feel the same when she says,"I am looking for a man with more balls than me!"



So,Just pick up the phone and call the poor girl. Swear up and down, drink a half a pint, take some speech classes, hold on to your balls(sorry, I don't mean to be so unlady like, but I haven't said a curse word since I was in high school and so I deserve this one),whatever, just call the girl.It's really not that hard. Most importantly, it will save a lot of time, both yours and hers.



For an interesting book about the courting rituals of the Regency period, read,"Jane Austen's Guide to Dating". I am waiting for the day,when an admirer writes me a clandestine hand written note or invites me to a mask ball on the finest linen paper with old fashion sealing wax, which will be deliverd by the butler. Sometimes, I ask myself, do I fit in this time period? Are my standards too high? Well, whatever it is, I think there is someone out there that thinks just like me and I have faith that one day our paths will meet and when it does it will be magical!





More Tales and Adventures in Sabrina's London Diaries

Monday, 18 January 2010

Dating in London: Part 4: How to Have a Hot First Date



I just started writing articles for ehow.com and this article is the most popular of the 10 articles that I published. It has received about 300 views in the last 2 weeks.Yes !! Life is so amazing !All my years of being single and looking for Mr. Darcy and coming up short and just finding a bunch of frogs.And, having a string of boyfriends and never ever getting married to anyone, all my years of suffering and frustration not finding the right man.Then, having to answer to my Mother when she asks me if I have a fellow, " No, Mom, not yet, do you know of anyone?" Now, from a Buddhist perspective, I am in the process of changing poison into medicine. Mysteriously, I am helping other people have successful dates.(I am not getting more dates with men, but NOW I am attracting more friends)So, that's good! I suppose I have the experience and now just need to be a bit more patience,(with a capital P!)
to find Mr. Right,instead of Mr.Right now.



Does anybody know anybody know anyboooooooooody?
My priorities and standards are so low now,that it shouldn't be too hard
to set me up on a blind date. The only thing I ask is that he speaks English and has a dowry.



Here is the link to one of my Top Viewed Articles on ehow.com ( don't ask me why)
How to Have a Hot First Date | eHow.com

A lot of women complain that men aren't romantic, here's a great article
to bring out your inner Romeo.
How to Be A Romantic Romeo on a Date | eHow.com

More on Dating
and Romance in Sabrina's London Diaries








p.s. Do not believe a word, I was just taking the mickey, my standards are at
an all time high ( lol !)



MORE MAYHEM AND MISCHIEF IN SABRINA'S LONDON DIARIES


Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Dating in London: Part 3: How To Cause a Stir

Hello Ladies out there and even gents. If you are coming to a new city and you don't know a soul, at least like me when I came to London, don't fear the internet is here!If you want to meet people and you don't have a clue about how to do it. Go to craigslist or even gumtree.com ( very popular in Europe) and just place an ad in the personals.I am sure you already know that, but the key is to place an advert about you that causes a stir and gets attention. There are at least a gazillion people advertising on craigslist everyday worldwide of adverts everyday the key to internet advertising is you write something that wakes people up.


So, here's what I did before arriving to the UK in late September 2008. I had a feeling that the bloke I was going to visit had cold feet. So, rather than feeling sorry for myself or getting blue, I decided I was still going to visit him in London anyway. He was my Plan A. My Plan B was to meet as many London people men and women alike as fast as possible. So, I put an ad on http://www.craigslist.com under the personals. I put in the headlines: HURRICANE SABRINA IS COMING TO LONDON. Then, I placed an interesting photo of me. Something where I looked chic and interesting rather than sexy. I also highlighted all my positive qualities. Let your enthusiasm shine and joie de vivre shine forth. Put a very clean-cut girl next door kind of photo. You want to look interesting and attractive and not slutty in the least. So girls don't put a photo of you in a bikini or wearing a bustier unless you want to attract weirdos and people with foot fetishes.


You'll attract who you are. So, if you want to attract intellectual types: write about a few of your favorite books that you like. That you especially like Dickens for his longwindeness and his treatise on Victorian society. Or, write about how the Bach's Bradenburg Concerto No 5 Allegretto Mondato moves your soul.Or, if you want to attract maybe a duke that you just adore hunting and Speak 7 languages. Or, that you that you fancy the 17th century Venetian painter Canaletto because he was collected by the Queen and anything that the Queen loves you just can't live without.Anyway, you get the picture. Make your Advert interesting and highlight what's interesting about you, and what's interesting about your interests.The more outrageously confident you seem, the better.Unless, you are going after quiet shy retiring types.


It turned out, my instincts were right on, because the guy that I came to visit not only had cold feet, but told me straight away shortly after arriving from Heathrow airport that I was not "the one". Literally, I WAS DUMPED UPON ARRIVAL! Damn!I was supposed to stay with him for 2 out of the 3 weeks, instead I end up just staying with him for just under a week. The humiliation of being dumped was just unbearable. I was mortified. But, rather than go back to the USA with my tail between my legs I decided to make the best of my time in London and then I decided to live here. I stayed with the tosser for just little under 1 week and moved out.


Putting this really bold advert, like HURRICANE SABRINA COMING TO LONDON was the best thing I could ever do, because by the time I arrived to London I had my box full of willing suitors willing to wine and dine me, or just some take me out for coffee. which was absolutely fine by me. Still, it was a great ego boost, because I had been rejected by the man I loved. Also, I had survived 2 decades of dating and never had been dumped before so this was especially painful. PLEASE SOMEONE GET THE VIOLINS! And honestly, all this male attention and admiration was just what the doctor ordered. One night just within the week I arrived in London, I had 3 dates with three different men.One took me out to dinner at Carluccios in Canary Wharf. He was a good looking Italian financial adviser. The next one, a really handsome classy middle aged Record Producer took me out to see Timothy of Athens at Shakespeare's Globe in the Southwark ( pronounced Suth-huk, and said really fast). (We actually didn't' have to stand up as a groundling as he bought real tickets). And, the last one a Producer for BBC Latin America took me out for cocktails in Primrose Hill. Nothing really transpired from any of these dates, none of them ended up being my soul mate or the man of my dreams. I didn't end up having much in common with the financial adviser plus he was ten years younger than me. But I am still friends with the producer from the BBC.


After my first initial week, I continued to place the same advert. But if truth be told, it ended up being a job to sort through all the mass emails. I really felt like a rock star receiving fan mail everyday. Finally I just gave it up. I had started meeting people on my own quite naturally on the tube and walking down the street. Yes, I eventually got over that man(that's what I call him)and I forgave him and moved on. I thanked him for being my manivator and motivating my predictable routine loving ass to come to London. He was just the catalyst to get me here. He was my human revolution. So,wherever you are I thank your obnoxious ass for dragging me here all the way from California.Even if the circumstances were less than perfect I have made my life in London for 1 year now and it's been the best thing I have ever done.


So, if you want to meet people in a new city, make a bold add, do it with style, be unique and be yourself and just see what happens.Of course, if you are a woman use plan common sense and spiritual discretion. Meet in public places until you get to know them and don't give out your phone number if you don't feel comfortable.





Let me know how it goes!
Cheers and Best of Luck !
love,
Sabrina

Some Favorite Dating Websites:
http://askejean.com
http://www.colletteslovebytes.com







Tuesday, 17 November 2009

What to do on the First Date

DO'S FOR BLOKES ON FIRST DATES:

1.Do be confident. Confidence is the great elixir for success and happiness in life. If you not that good looking and if you aren't very wealthy. You can make up for it if you have confidence and believe in yourself.Be confident. This is the best advice I can give any man. Just be yourself. Don't apologize so much if you make a mistake. Don't explain yourself so much. Act as if everyone loves you and they will.If you want to see her, just call her and ask her out. During the date, just be yourself. Confidence is sexy. If you don't' have a lot of confidence do whatever it takes to build your confidence levels up. If you need to write a list of the ten things that you love about yourself and think about it. Or, say your positive affirmations before you go on a date and look at yourself in the mirror and say aloud " Damn, I am a god of love, all women love me!"


2.Play it cool- Don't go too hot and heavy in the beginning otherwise you are likely to ruin something good. Also, if you are too pushy and too much into her you seem like you are too needy and that's not attractive at all. Just be cool and be patient and wait to see if something happens.


3. Try to talk about common interests. If you love football and cricket and she could careless. Dont' go on and on about how Chelsea won over Barcelona and how you and the boys had 5 pints of Guinness at the pub.Try to find something that you mutually love or are passionate about and fly from there. Make it genuine. If you dont' like cocker spaniels and she does don't pretend that you do or she'll see right through it. That's lying and not cool. Just pick up on what she wants to talk about and then ad what you want to talk about and that should make for mutually fulfilling conversation.


4. Try to keep up with cues- If she says she doesn't like hot peppers or spicy food don't offer to take them to a restaurant where they serve Mexican or hot Indian food.If she says she's tired that she's just gotten over being sick don't' offer to take her to a boat ride when it's raining.


5. Take her to an interesting restaurant. This shows the lady that you
have some style and character. This also shows her that she's important enough
to you that you've taken some time out to research a special restaurant.
It doesn't have to be expensive. If she's sensible and practical she' ll appreciate that you don't just drop loads of money on her initially.


In the end, it's best to use your own judgment and instincts about finding or attracting someone. After all the road to love, has no rules but is best perfected and mastered by our own mistakes a long the way.




If you are TORMENTED, WHIPSAWED? WHITLESS WITH CONFUSION
GO ASK AUNTIE E'S ADVICE VIXENS
http://www.askejean.com/

Friday, 6 November 2009

Dating Don'ts Continued

Here's More Dating Don't Continued.

6. Don't pick a generic restaurant

Story: It was my first date with this man that I had met quite naturally. I had a date once, we had planned to meet in Notting Hill where there are a lot of restaurants. We met at somewhere popular like Starbucks and then decided to go further. I asked him where he wanted to go for lunch. He said Nando's.
I just practically rolled my eyes.( Well, I did roll my eyes, but he just didn't see it.) I politely suggested that we go to some nice restaurant on Portobello Road. We ended up going to a nice Thai restaurant and we had ended up having fun. But, the key is to pick a restaurant that lets her know you spent ten minutes on google just to figure out where to take her. That she's that important to you. Or, maybe you are so hip that you already know of a chic fun restaurant. Men ! This doesn't have to be expensive something under £15 per person. We are not talking about five star restaurants here. Or blowing your paycheck on this woman you hardly know.And, if your a student £7 or 8. This is about using your imagination, creativity and personality
and showing her that you can be real fun man.


7. Don't compliment her looks or her outfit so much. A good looking woman
has been told all her life that she's beautiful. You can compliment her on her outfit because everyone wants to feel admired but do it to a minimum. Instead, compliment her on her uniqueness, her intelligence and her accomplishments.

Story: An intelligent woman wants to be admired for her individuality and creativity and the things that make her and her alone unique. Cue into that and you will win her over a little by little, of course, along with everything else.

8. Don't be pushy. Don't start hanging on your dates.

Story: I was at a movie once with this young man it was our first date. The guy he would not let me breathe he practically suffocated me. He just
hung on to me for dear life and hugged me so hard.I was annoyed that he
was not into the movie and was just too affectionate. And, hung all over me like a lost puppy dog. Gross. I wanted to push him away from me, but I didn't want to be rude. I felt like telling him: " Jesus, I just met you man would you control yourself, sit up straight up striaght and watch the movie, after all you just paid 20 quid to watch it ! Damn!


9. Don't be too affectionate-
Don't insist that you have to have kiss on the first date.
I often don't kiss on the first date. I like to have a connection to whom I am kissing and sometimes the first date seems a bit too unnatural or rushed to kiss someone you hardly know. Don't underestimate the relationship. Sometimes it takes time for sparks to fly.

Story: I had a long term boyfriend once, I didn't kiss him for like the first 5 dates. I quite fancied him for sure. I just like to take things slow. He was very persistent and he knew that I liked him, but he was quite patient at the pace I wanted to take the relationship. His patience paid off because we ended up being together for 2 whole years.


10. Dont' talk about heavy subjects. Don't hang your laundry.

Story:I went on a date with a man that talked about how he was in the Iraq and he saw his friend's leg get blown off by shrapnel. And, that he's still scarred by the act and traumatized so much that he can't sleep at night. This is scary for anyone to hear on the first date. Although, you want to get your life out on the open and you probably want to see her reaction, don't' do it. It's in poor taste. And, the other person doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to say except " Gee I am sorry about that! " It makes the other person feel really uncomfortable. You also run the risk of her feeling sorry for you. But, it makes you look like your life is there all hanging out and that you have no discretion or privacy. It's better if you just say something like I went to Iraq it's not a fun place and just leave it at that. If she likes you,then the next few dates you can reveal intimate things about yourself. I am sure she'll be compassionate. Most women are innately compassionate.But, don't' do it on the first date, its not a good impression and it makes you look like you are reaching out for sympathy even if that's not your intention. Or that you still haven't recovered from your trauma and you need someone to vent to.

In conclusion,it's harsh out there, but with a little hope and some good karma eventually I will find my Mark Darcy. This is a list of a Moron.Why don't you make up your own list on how to be a successful dater and send it to me because I am really feeling things as I go along.It would be nice if someone could give me a few tips instead of me always having to give everyone advice.( Lol!).Anyway, Mark Darcy is out there somewhere and it's just a matter of time before I meet him or run into him. Cheers, Sabrina

Monday, 26 October 2009

Dating in London: Part 3: What not to do on a first date

I have been dating for nearly 2 decades, so I think I have some advice to share.
I have dated men from all over the world. I have shopped around like my Mamma told me. But, here in my quest of trying to find Mr. Darcy and kissing a lot of frogs I would like to share some advice for all the blokes and dudes out there on what not to do on the first initial date, which usually predict the success and ensures a second date.This is meant for men. Here's some advice for all the men out there.


Don't's for Guys:

1. Don't be too desperate to try to kiss her
or hold her hand- let things develop naturally.



Story: I was at my brother's wedding and an old boyfriend from 20 years
back was there. He tried very hard to kiss me and chased me all over the dance floor and through out this very elegant hotel my brother had his reception. It was really embarrassing for me. When I found out that he was going to be there I was excited and anticipated something romantic. But, he was so aggressive that he turned me off and made me realized he hadn't changed much from way back when we were in high school.


2.Dont' talk about the future with her. Don't try to create a relationship when there's none. Don't start to ask her if she's seeing other guys. Or, if she's waiting
for you. Or,if she'll have your children.If you are meeting with friends:don't imply to your other friends that you make a cute couple.


Story: I had a date I met through Craigslist and we were getting along and he mentioned to me that he wanted to buy property with me. He asked me how many children I wanted to have. I know you are trying not to waste time out there and your trying to find out as much about me as possible in as short of time as possible, but puuuuuuuuuuuuleeeeeeeeeeeeeze can you be a bit more subtle?


3.Dont' boss her around. It seems like a lot of men like to give advice, but it's unsolicited. Or men are really interested in material toys and so they want everyone to have the same toys as they have. This is great with another gal that's into material things but if she's not, you are gong to turn her off. I personally don't enjoy people to tell me what to do ,( unless it's my parents, family or a really good friend or maybe my future husband) which is why I run my own business and why I don't like to work for other people. Anyway, there are women that like to be bossed around, but I am not one of them. I don't think most intelligent, educated women enjoy being bossed around. So anyway, don't do it. It makes you seem a bit chauvanistic and wankeristic.


I dated a man once who was clever, funny,ambitious,charming but then he annoyed me. He annoyed me because he started telling me how I should buy a new camera. It really made me mad, because at the time I quite fancied my camera and secondly I didn't have the budget to buy a new camera. What if she doesn't want to buy a new camera or she can't afford to. Your advice will be resented. It's the first date, who are you to tell her what she needs to do.


4. Don't talk about anything remotely that has to do with sex
You want to get to know someone gradually. You don't want all the fire to burn out in the first date.Or do you?I am not sure, but men should just learn to control themselves.They'll go farther faster if they just don't act like such love sick high school boys.


Story: This man on our second date over drinks said that he liked porno and that he bought some movies yesterday.I was so utterly repelled,I excused myself to go to the powder room and never came back.



5.Don't talk about Kama Sutra and how you would like to try
out a new position with. This really shows a lack of taste and grace.
And, it makes the lady feel that your just out with her for one thing only. Even, if she has attraction for you, she'll be immediately turned off, unless
she's Samantha from Sex and The City.


Story: I really had a date once that half way through the date everything was perfect:he was really cute, charming and sweet.I thought we were getting on. And then he had to ruin it by asking me if I would like to try a Kama Sutra position. I was turned off and disappointed, especially since we had been having so much fun.The truth is I told my date how disappointing I was and he apologized and said that he was sorry that he hadn't had much experience dating.Fair Enough.He was very young so I cut him some slack. I felt really sorry for him and just changed the subject.



So, you see men with some advice from the opposite gender you'll begin to see the way women see things and perhaps it will open up a different world for you.Either way, it will give you some things to think about and ponder.



Stay Tuned for more
Look for More Dating DONTS for Men in coming SABRINA'S LONDON DIARIES

Monday, 28 September 2009

PART 2: Dating in London: What's it Like to Date an English Man

My experience in dating in London is unique to me, of course, but perhaps there are other species of the more delicate gender who would agree with me on the courting rituals of the male beast. And, that thereof of the English man.

So, you want to know my opinion on dating an English bloke? Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be reading this blog. Well, first of all, what you see in the movies could be true of an English gentlemen. The Hugh Grants, the Colin Firths and who else? Those are fine examples that Hollywood shows you of an English gentlemen. But are those examples real? Is there a likeness, where Hollywood and fantasy meet reality and truth? Well, I love Colin Firth and his portrayal of Mark Darcy was sexy, sublime and true to the reality of an Englsh man or was it? Well, in a way it was and in a way it wasn't. My impression of the English men comes from my real life, what I have observed on the street, in the tea houses,in the pubs,in parliament (no, just kidding), in my true life experience. And, with my true archaelogist eye for seeeing through things and exacavating those hidden elements that make people in certain cultures click it's my desire and pleasure to share with you those impressions.

The English men are gentlemen to the extreme !!: courteous, thoughtful, well mannered, polite, and disarmingly charming. They are great models for the rest of the men in the world on sophistication and plain old fashioned good manners. They are always very dapper, well dressed and svelte. Yes, svelte ! Most drink a lot of beer, it's called the pub gene, but I have never seen one English man with a big belly. It's a mystery to me, because I don't see many gyms around London, not like in California anyway. English men wear elegant suits and seldom see a pouchy pouch.

Seriously, English men love to write. They are natural great and talented writers.Even their natural speech is quite eloquent and they have a great vernacular of elegant words at thier disposal. Being a words smith and poet myself, I just love it. I think it has to do with their upbringing and the school system requires them as young lads to write many essays. It's any wonder England has produced some of the world's greatest writers. I can attest to this because I am a lover of Literature and am particularily fond of English Literature. I love Shakespeare, Eliot, Hardy, Austen and Thackeray. I think England is a land of poets, so naturally the men are quite naturally poetic even if they write you a text message. If they have degrees from Oxford or Cambridge they are like this to a more intense degree. It's very romantic and quite refreshing.

So, once they start writing they may write you or let me correct myself, they will compose ( this is said in a POSH British accent) an email. Usually, it's no more than a simple concise 3-4 paragraphs. I don't have time to read 3 to 4 paragraphs from a man that I just met. The English men are quite long winded. They like to beat around the bush. It's all very romantic and lovely, for sure. But, this day in age, I have to bring home the bacon and sometimes fry it up in the pan. I don't have time to sift through a deluge of words from a man I just met and had one connection with. In their boyish charm they often forget that women just like a man to call them and ask them out on a date. It's very simple.

By this time all this attention is wonderful. It's quite good to be showered with so many compliments and the intrigue is building. But, don't buy into it. The next thing, is that they'll text you about 20 times. Telling you how much they love the moon when it's full and that it reminds them of you. Or, how they are wondering why you stopped emailing and texting them. And, that they dropped by the original place that you met in the hopes that they might run into you again because they really miss you. Then if they run into you at the local pub they have to drink 5 pints before they muster their courage to talk to you and ask you for your phone number again. Once, they start a rampage of texts it's endless. They'll practically conduct the whole courting rites and propose marriage to you via texts. The intrigue and sexual tension is building, meanwhile your hands are getting carpal tunnel from so much texting!!

The English men are quite reserved and are afraid of the initial intimacy. It's quite aggravating for me to conduce a relationship email/ text or otherwise, with a man I hardly know. If a man is not brave enough to just call me and ask me out for a drink or a lovely cup of tea, I don't want to have anything to do with him. As, the English say " I can't be bothered!" On the other hand, if the man is your boyfriend or someone your attracted to, then by all means, a bit of techo flirtation is de rigeur in this day and age, so indulge yourself!

And, if you really like the bloke, you can always consider going with the flow and just enjoying the unique qualities of your English man instead of fighting the flow. What is that saying patience is a virtue. As Eart Kitt sings in her song " An Englishman needs time". Well, you might have to be a bit patient with the way the English blokes are so shy and reserved, but it could also prove quite rewarding. Besides being reserved is quite beautiful thing.

Here is a video of Eartha Kitt Singing An Englishman Needs Time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRLHhVdcGl0"





Enjoy !
Note Bene: These blogs are meant in the spirit of good humor and love.
No offense meant. Hopefully, no offense taken. Hey if you can't laugh
at yourself you are going to shorten your life span. Duh!

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Part 1: Dating in London: Where's my Mark Darcy?

Let's see, since I 've been in London I dated a man from Israel, Ireland, England, Scotland, India ( but was born in Kenya and raised in London, hence a definitely an English bloke likes rugby and drinking pints of Guiness), Pakistan, Italy, Spain,Iran, Egypt, and then of course one my paisano, American man. I don't think I can think of anyone else. They have all been just a one off one time thing. Only with the Italian was it a full fledge relationship thing.Anyway, so I definitely have my opinions of men from many different lands.

The United Kingdom men: English, Welsh, Irish, and Scottish men. English men since they are of Anglo Saxon ancestry most are very fair with blue eyes. Most are reserved,chivalrous,intelligent and polite. English men are gentlemen through and through and always want to do the right thing. Once in awhile you'll meet someone that's sexy in a Hugh Grant( althgouth I am not a big fan of Hugh Grant..and thought he was a wanker with Liz Hurley) bad boy kind of way, he'll be a mixture of gentleness, elegance and manliness that can be rather exciting and very sexy. Although, with English men are so afraid of intimacy that they'll probably propose marriage to you via text, and then wonder why you don't reply straight away. Oh, I forgot to mention he'll proably have to drink 5 pints of guiness because he 's so shy. The Scottish men since they are Celtic (like the Irish and Welsh)are much darker in appearance: darker hair,eyes and eyebrows (makes me think of the commercial for BRAWNY paper towels) and to me as a whole race of men are much sexier than their English brothers. (Sorry Hugh Grant, Colin Firth!)There the type of men that might sweep you away and take you in the bushes like a lumber jack. They are also more honest and direct than English men and don't mind hurting your feelings or making you feel a wee bit uncomfortable to get a message across. The positive of that quality is not wasting time, yours or thiers. That's a good thing. Their Scottish accent is quite charming they have lilt when they speak to you. Oh but the Irish men are the most charming of the UK men; very warm, and friendly. And their accent is the opitomy of charming. For example they will say " What kind of TINGS do you like to do in your spare time? We have dated TREE (three) times Miss Sabrina isn't time for a little kiss?? ( heehee). Come on just one kiiiis dahling.
Adorable.

Moving on to the Asian community: Pakistani and Indian men are quite protective, fun, generous, but are a bit rough around the edges. I dated an Indian man and although he was sweet, warm, very generous and a great kisser, he had a very abrupt and slightly aggressive side to him when he spoke to me. He also didn't like it that I said thank you for every time he did somethign nice for me. For example, he took me out for cocktails and appetisers in one restaurant and I said thank you. Then he took me out for dinner I said, " thank you" again. Then, we went out to the movies and had a blast at the end of the movie I said "thank you" again. I think he bought me a pair of gloves because my hands were freezing and I said, "thank you" again. He finally just said, " Sabrina, you only have to say thank you one time." I said, " Oh !" " I didn't know that!" I was raised to always say thank you no matter what. I didn't know someone would have a problem with me saying thank you too many times. I thought it was weird. But, it's a cultural difference. Also, in India I was told ( my friend Sami Kahn) that you don't need to say thank you or please very often because when you do it builds distance. You only say thank you and please with people you don't know very well or people you want to keep a healthy distance from. Weird man ! I had to break it off with the Indian bloke I decided he was just looking for a pretty thing that he can boss around and have chicken vindaloo ready for him when he comes home from work,as a Banker at Deutsche Bank.
( Boriiiiiiiiiiiing) I am yawning.

What else? Israeli men get the prize for most rude. They are very upfront. They don't say honey, sweetie, please, thank you. They tell you what's on thier mind without any regard to your feelings. They are combative, macho and aggressive. I think it has to do with growing up in a war zone and just surving in fighting for your life. Even the Israeli women say that Israeli men are rude. They are super good looking though: they have great skin, dark eyes and hair and are really tan and luscious in a midterranean sexy way. This one man I dated was perfect, except for his rudeness(well, that's a big thing) and his body odor !! When I brought it to his attention that he needed to put some deodarant on under his pits. He just replied, " You are sooooooo sensitive. I am from the Middle East and that the women back home love my manly smell!" I said, " Yeah but you smell like an onion "! Wait to you go to the US see if the chicks will dig your onion smell. We aren't in Israel anymore sweethaaaaaart !" No more Israelis !

Italians are very charming they make you feel great about yourself they shower you with gifts, compliments and adoration. They are also the most romantic of the whole male race. They send you dozens of romantic texts.They call you " amore mio !" That was my name when I was with my Italian bloke " Amore mio this and Amore mio that!" They will bring you presents everyday. Designer clothes just in your right size. Italian hand bags in real leather that smells like true cow hide. Gorgeous bottles of perfume. Classic books of Jane Austen, written inside the flap how much they adore you. But is it all sincere? It probably is sincere. But dont' expect them to be faithful it's not in their genes. Italian men are so sucesssful with women because they make you feel like you are the most gorgeous women in the world. They also do this with probably a half dozen women at the same time they do it to you. I question their sincerity, but on the other hand they could be sincere. I think they just love women, it's a cultural thing.

Another great thing about an Italian man is that they are very gentlemanly. They will carry your bags. Take you to your front door step.Make sure you get home safely. Make you chicken soup when you are sick.They will pay for everything and feel insulted if you offer to pay anything.If you are dating an Italian, buyer beware. He probably has a wife back in Italy with two children, a mistress in Poland that he's had for 2 or three years, and on top of that half a dozen other flirtations t that he's probably met online. In the meanwhile, he's telling you how much he adores you and he can't wait to introduce you to his Mom and his family. He can't wait for you to live with him back home in Italy and teach you Italian, the language of love. He's lying to you, he's lying to her, he's lying to himself. (Just roll your eyes and don't believe a word he says). Start making plans to leave your lover. Don't buy into their generosity and their charm. But, they make good friends those Italian men. They are naturally warm and endearing. The only thing is who wants to be friends with a bloody liar.On a positve note, if you can put up with their philandering you might come out a winner. You'll have a great wardrobe know more Italian and know how to cook Cannelloni and crush grapes with your bare feet.

I dated my paisano Americano in London. Before I came to London I never much fancied American men. I thought they were rough around the edges, unsophisticated, not well travelled. All these cliches that the whole world about Americans I also thougt the same thing too. I know it's a shame that I could think so poorly of my own people. Back home I also dated many sophisticated, well travelled and highly educated men. But, something inside me was turned off by American men. Perhaps, the grsass is always greener on the other side. Living in London has taught me to appreciate American men more. After dating men from about 10 different countries, I can finally assess honestly that American men are the most generous, kind, open, feminist, and straightforward. I dated an American man he always insited on walking on the outside of the street just in case someone splashed water on my hoop skirt ( heehe).He was very gentlemanly and always offered to carry my big satchel. On the other hand, when I told them that I had myriad of professions they rooted my multi talentedness and diversity instead of making me out as some circus freak that can't focus. They are also very generous to everyone: they tip the waitress and taxi drivers 20%, whether they are rich or not. I think American appreciate my ambition,assertiveness and straighforwardness. Where with alot of European men they are threatened by my strength, an American man can handle me and bring out my best. My Italian boyfriend told me one time he thought I was too masculine. I just told him he was too feminine and that he could not handle me. ( He also couldn't change a light bulb to save his life. When I asked him to change the light bulb it took him two months, then when he finally did he broke the light bulb and he broke the fuse.) Whateeevah! I also think American men are more spiritual, espcially Califo rnian men. Most men in the world American or not, are just not interested in spirituality. They don't get it in the way women are naturally talking about Star Signs and the supernatural. That's just men for you ! Some English men though,unless they are Buddhist or are from Glastonbury ( is a new age village known for it's hippies and new age airy fairies )don't understand a thing about spirituality; karma, or New Age philosophy, metaphysics. It's not that they are closed off to it, sometimes they are interested in it and ask me lots of questions. But, many thinks it's airy fairy to talk about this stuff. It's just not in the culture so don't even bother.

So ladies if you can accept some of what I mentioned about Englsh culture English culture and try and focus on the postive qualities of English men (immigrants: European/ Middle Eastern/ Asian men),you are going to have a really fun adventure and unforgettable time. And, stories definitely you can tell your grandchildren and your friends and family back home.

I can write a book dedicated to dating around the world, but this is just a glimpse of my vast experiences. These are my personal experiences with men in London that has made me a wiser woman. OK dolls this has been my own uique experiences now be brave date as many men as possible and get back to me ( lol!) Maybe, we can write a book together.. Huh? Anyone out there, want to co-write a book with me?

Note Bene: Some of these vignettes are gross generalizations and gross exagerrations, it's all meant in the spirit of humanistic humor and fun.
No offense is meant so no offense is taken.If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Stay Tuned
Part 2:Dating in London: What it's like to date an English man.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Part 2: Dating in London: What's it like to date an English man

My experience in dating in London is unique to me, of course, but perhaps there are other species of the more delicate gender who would agree with me on the courting rituals of the male beast. And, that thereof of the English man.

So, you want to know my opinion on dating an English bloke? Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be reading this blog. Well, first of all, what you see in the movies could be true of English gentlemen. The Hugh Grants, the Colin Firths and who else,mmm...who is that guy Beckham. Those are fine examples of English gentlemen. (Except for Hugh Grant, he was weird with his philandering with prostitutes when he had gorgeous Liz Hurley.. what's up with that Hugh?) Anyway, The English men are gentlemen to the extreme !!: courteous, thoughtful, well mannered, polite, and disarmingly charming. They are great models for the rest of the men in the world on sophistication and plain old fashioned good manners. They are always very dapper, well dressed and svelte. Yes, svelte ! They drink a lot of beer, but I have never seen one English man with a big belly. It's a mystery to me, because I don't see many gyms around London, not like in California anyway.

Seriously, English men love to write. They are natural great and talented writers.Even their natural speech is quite eloquent and they have a great vernacular of elegant words at thier disposal. Being a words smith and poet myself, I just love it. I think it has to do with their upbringing and the school system requires them as young lads to write many essays. It's any wonder England has produced some of the world's greatest writers. I can attest to this because I am a lover of Literature and am particularily fond of English Literature. I love Shakespeare, Eliot, Hardy, Austen and Thackeray. I think England is a land of poets, so naturally the men are quite naturally poetic even if they write you a text message. If they have degrees from Oxford or Cambridge they are like this to a more intense degree. It's very romantic and quite refreshing.

So, once they start writing they may write you or let me correct myself, they will compose ( this is said in a POSH British accent) an email. Usually, it's no more than a simple concise 3-4 paragraphs. I don't have time to read 3 to 4 paragraphs from a man that I just met. The English men are quite long winded. They like to beat around the bush. It's all very romantic and lovely, for sure. But, this day in age, I have to bring home the bacon and sometimes fry it up in the pan. I don't have time to sift through a deluge of words from a man I just met and had one connection with. In their boyish charm they often forget that women just like a man to call them and ask them out on a date. It's very simple.

By this time all this attention is wonderful. It's quite good to be showered with so many compliments and the intrigue is building. But, don't buy into it. The next thing, is that they'll text you about 20 times. Telling you how much they love the moon when it's full and that it reminds them of you. Or, how they are wondering why you stopped emailing and texting them. And, that they dropped by the original place that you met in the hopes that they might run into you again because they really miss you. Then if they run into you at the local pub they have to drink 5 pints before they muster their courage to talk to you and ask you for your phone number again. Once, they start a rampage of texts it's endless. They'll practically conduct the whole courting rites and propose marriage to you via texts. The intrigue and sexual tension is building, meanwhile your hands are getting carpal tunnel from so much texting!!

The English men are quite reserved and are afraid of the initial intimacy. It's quite aggravating for me to conduce a relationship email/ text or otherwise, with a man I hardly know. If a man is not brave enough to just call me and ask me out for a drink or a lovely cup of tea, I don't want to have anything to do with him. As, the English say " I can't be bothered!" On the other hand, if the man is your boyfriend or someone your attracted to then by all means a bit of techo flirtation I suppose de rigeur in this day and age so indulge yourself!

And, if you really like the bloke, you can always consider going with the flow and just enjoying the diversity. What is that saying patience is a virtue. As Eart Kitt sings in her song " An Englishman needs time". Well, you might have to be a bit patient with the way the English blokes are so shy and reserved, but it could also prove quite rewarding. Besides being reserved is quite beautiful thing.

Here is a video of Eartha Kitt Singing An Englishman Needs Time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRLHhVdcGl0"





Enjoy !
Note Bene: These blogs are meant in the spirit of good humor and love.
No offense meant. Hopefully, no offense taken. Hey if you can't laugh
at yourself you are going to shorten your life span. Duh!

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