The Etymology of Words: The meaning of DARLING

All the men living in the UK whether they are Pakistani, Indian, English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Egypitian, Iraqi, Spanish, Italian, Polish if they have lived here in London long enough they acquire this charming habit of calling everyone darling. I like it, it has a nice sing song and is very sweet and endearing. It's refreshing, because I remeber back in the USA NO ONE would call me darling unless it was my best friends or my family or my husband.(Oh, or my charming girlfriend Renee Rudzinski. She was known to always call me darling.) But darling is very popular and everyone is calling you darling. Darling is not a word just limited to sweethearts. They call you darling at the reception desk to get your hair done, they call you darling at Tescos when you buy your cheese, they call you darling when you buy flowers from the man at the corner market, they call you darling when you go to TOP UP at the Tube Station. All the men in the UK call you darling!! And, the women do it too, but it's less common. Usually, it's the lower middle class or the working class that call you darling. But, I don't care. I don't discriminate with compliments and sweet words. I take my darling anywhere I can get it. (HA!)

A definiition of the Word DARLING:
dar⋅ling
  /ˈdɑrlɪŋ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [dahr-ling]
–noun
1. a person very dear to another; one dearly loved.
2. (sometimes initial capital letter) an affectionate or familiar term of address.
3. a person or thing in great favor; a favorite: She was the darling of café society.
–adjective
4. very dear; dearly loved: my darling child.
5. favorite; cherished.
6. Informal. charming; cute; lovable: What a darling baby!
Origin:
bef. 900; ME derling, OE dēorling. See dear, -ling 1

Related forms:
dar⋅ling⋅ly, adverb
dar⋅ling⋅ness, noun

I like this, darlingness.. Have you ever heard of that?
His dear darlingness brought me my slippers and made me tea.

PART 2: Dating in London: What's it Like to Date an English Man

My experience in dating in London is unique to me, of course, but perhaps there are other species of the more delicate gender who would agree with me on the courting rituals of the male beast. And, that thereof of the English man.

So, you want to know my opinion on dating an English bloke? Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be reading this blog. Well, first of all, what you see in the movies could be true of an English gentlemen. The Hugh Grants, the Colin Firths and who else? Those are fine examples that Hollywood shows you of an English gentlemen. But are those examples real? Is there a likeness, where Hollywood and fantasy meet reality and truth? Well, I love Colin Firth and his portrayal of Mark Darcy was sexy, sublime and true to the reality of an Englsh man or was it? Well, in a way it was and in a way it wasn't. My impression of the English men comes from my real life, what I have observed on the street, in the tea houses,in the pubs,in parliament (no, just kidding), in my true life experience. And, with my true archaelogist eye for seeeing through things and exacavating those hidden elements that make people in certain cultures click it's my desire and pleasure to share with you those impressions.

The English men are gentlemen to the extreme !!: courteous, thoughtful, well mannered, polite, and disarmingly charming. They are great models for the rest of the men in the world on sophistication and plain old fashioned good manners. They are always very dapper, well dressed and svelte. Yes, svelte ! Most drink a lot of beer, it's called the pub gene, but I have never seen one English man with a big belly. It's a mystery to me, because I don't see many gyms around London, not like in California anyway. English men wear elegant suits and seldom see a pouchy pouch.

Seriously, English men love to write. They are natural great and talented writers.Even their natural speech is quite eloquent and they have a great vernacular of elegant words at thier disposal. Being a words smith and poet myself, I just love it. I think it has to do with their upbringing and the school system requires them as young lads to write many essays. It's any wonder England has produced some of the world's greatest writers. I can attest to this because I am a lover of Literature and am particularily fond of English Literature. I love Shakespeare, Eliot, Hardy, Austen and Thackeray. I think England is a land of poets, so naturally the men are quite naturally poetic even if they write you a text message. If they have degrees from Oxford or Cambridge they are like this to a more intense degree. It's very romantic and quite refreshing.

So, once they start writing they may write you or let me correct myself, they will compose ( this is said in a POSH British accent) an email. Usually, it's no more than a simple concise 3-4 paragraphs. I don't have time to read 3 to 4 paragraphs from a man that I just met. The English men are quite long winded. They like to beat around the bush. It's all very romantic and lovely, for sure. But, this day in age, I have to bring home the bacon and sometimes fry it up in the pan. I don't have time to sift through a deluge of words from a man I just met and had one connection with. In their boyish charm they often forget that women just like a man to call them and ask them out on a date. It's very simple.

By this time all this attention is wonderful. It's quite good to be showered with so many compliments and the intrigue is building. But, don't buy into it. The next thing, is that they'll text you about 20 times. Telling you how much they love the moon when it's full and that it reminds them of you. Or, how they are wondering why you stopped emailing and texting them. And, that they dropped by the original place that you met in the hopes that they might run into you again because they really miss you. Then if they run into you at the local pub they have to drink 5 pints before they muster their courage to talk to you and ask you for your phone number again. Once, they start a rampage of texts it's endless. They'll practically conduct the whole courting rites and propose marriage to you via texts. The intrigue and sexual tension is building, meanwhile your hands are getting carpal tunnel from so much texting!!

The English men are quite reserved and are afraid of the initial intimacy. It's quite aggravating for me to conduce a relationship email/ text or otherwise, with a man I hardly know. If a man is not brave enough to just call me and ask me out for a drink or a lovely cup of tea, I don't want to have anything to do with him. As, the English say " I can't be bothered!" On the other hand, if the man is your boyfriend or someone your attracted to, then by all means, a bit of techo flirtation is de rigeur in this day and age, so indulge yourself!

And, if you really like the bloke, you can always consider going with the flow and just enjoying the unique qualities of your English man instead of fighting the flow. What is that saying patience is a virtue. As Eart Kitt sings in her song " An Englishman needs time". Well, you might have to be a bit patient with the way the English blokes are so shy and reserved, but it could also prove quite rewarding. Besides being reserved is quite beautiful thing.

Here is a video of Eartha Kitt Singing An Englishman Needs Time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRLHhVdcGl0"





Enjoy !
Note Bene: These blogs are meant in the spirit of good humor and love.
No offense meant. Hopefully, no offense taken. Hey if you can't laugh
at yourself you are going to shorten your life span. Duh!

Part 2: How to Save Money in London: To Top Up or Not to Top Up

Another way to save money is to buy a mobile phone and then buy TOP UP vouchers. Many Londoners don't have a regular phone plan that you pay a set bill every month. Instead they use the Top Up system and pay as you go. But, be sure to get a good plan. I am with Vodaphone, they will charge you just £20 a month with unlimited texts and 300 minutes of voice time. That's pretty reasonable. Before, I found out about this I was buying TOP UP vouchers and paying £5 every 2-3 days. It was aggravating because what if I needed to text someone and I ran out of Credit. I would have to go out in the middle of the night just to TOP UP. Also, it would equal about £50 a month. Often, I end up with more time left over for voice messages. You will need to Top Up, that in American terms means to add credit. The British are fabulous for topping up this and topping up that. The whole culture is based on a top up system including being able to top up your electricity bill as you go along. All this is taken place at your local Off License Store, which is equivalent in America as your local Liquor Store. They are usually open up until 10 or 11 pm. You top up your MOBILE, you top up your credit card, you top up your electric bill, you top up your Oyster Card and then when you go a party the host will ask you as she sees your champagne glass empty. She'll come up to you and say politely to you, " Would you like a top up? " At this point you just SMILE real big and say, " Certainly darling I would love a TOP UP , and thank you very much !! "

Cheers,
Sabrina

Next London Diaries

Dating in London Part 3

Part 1: Dating in London: Where's my Mark Darcy?

Let's see, since I 've been in London I dated a man from Israel, Ireland, England, Scotland, India ( but was born in Kenya and raised in London, hence a definitely an English bloke likes rugby and drinking pints of Guiness), Pakistan, Italy, Spain,Iran, Egypt, and then of course one my paisano, American man. I don't think I can think of anyone else. They have all been just a one off one time thing. Only with the Italian was it a full fledge relationship thing.Anyway, so I definitely have my opinions of men from many different lands.

The United Kingdom men: English, Welsh, Irish, and Scottish men. English men since they are of Anglo Saxon ancestry most are very fair with blue eyes. Most are reserved,chivalrous,intelligent and polite. English men are gentlemen through and through and always want to do the right thing. Once in awhile you'll meet someone that's sexy in a Hugh Grant( althgouth I am not a big fan of Hugh Grant..and thought he was a wanker with Liz Hurley) bad boy kind of way, he'll be a mixture of gentleness, elegance and manliness that can be rather exciting and very sexy. Although, with English men are so afraid of intimacy that they'll probably propose marriage to you via text, and then wonder why you don't reply straight away. Oh, I forgot to mention he'll proably have to drink 5 pints of guiness because he 's so shy. The Scottish men since they are Celtic (like the Irish and Welsh)are much darker in appearance: darker hair,eyes and eyebrows (makes me think of the commercial for BRAWNY paper towels) and to me as a whole race of men are much sexier than their English brothers. (Sorry Hugh Grant, Colin Firth!)There the type of men that might sweep you away and take you in the bushes like a lumber jack. They are also more honest and direct than English men and don't mind hurting your feelings or making you feel a wee bit uncomfortable to get a message across. The positive of that quality is not wasting time, yours or thiers. That's a good thing. Their Scottish accent is quite charming they have lilt when they speak to you. Oh but the Irish men are the most charming of the UK men; very warm, and friendly. And their accent is the opitomy of charming. For example they will say " What kind of TINGS do you like to do in your spare time? We have dated TREE (three) times Miss Sabrina isn't time for a little kiss?? ( heehee). Come on just one kiiiis dahling.
Adorable.

Moving on to the Asian community: Pakistani and Indian men are quite protective, fun, generous, but are a bit rough around the edges. I dated an Indian man and although he was sweet, warm, very generous and a great kisser, he had a very abrupt and slightly aggressive side to him when he spoke to me. He also didn't like it that I said thank you for every time he did somethign nice for me. For example, he took me out for cocktails and appetisers in one restaurant and I said thank you. Then he took me out for dinner I said, " thank you" again. Then, we went out to the movies and had a blast at the end of the movie I said "thank you" again. I think he bought me a pair of gloves because my hands were freezing and I said, "thank you" again. He finally just said, " Sabrina, you only have to say thank you one time." I said, " Oh !" " I didn't know that!" I was raised to always say thank you no matter what. I didn't know someone would have a problem with me saying thank you too many times. I thought it was weird. But, it's a cultural difference. Also, in India I was told ( my friend Sami Kahn) that you don't need to say thank you or please very often because when you do it builds distance. You only say thank you and please with people you don't know very well or people you want to keep a healthy distance from. Weird man ! I had to break it off with the Indian bloke I decided he was just looking for a pretty thing that he can boss around and have chicken vindaloo ready for him when he comes home from work,as a Banker at Deutsche Bank.
( Boriiiiiiiiiiiing) I am yawning.

What else? Israeli men get the prize for most rude. They are very upfront. They don't say honey, sweetie, please, thank you. They tell you what's on thier mind without any regard to your feelings. They are combative, macho and aggressive. I think it has to do with growing up in a war zone and just surving in fighting for your life. Even the Israeli women say that Israeli men are rude. They are super good looking though: they have great skin, dark eyes and hair and are really tan and luscious in a midterranean sexy way. This one man I dated was perfect, except for his rudeness(well, that's a big thing) and his body odor !! When I brought it to his attention that he needed to put some deodarant on under his pits. He just replied, " You are sooooooo sensitive. I am from the Middle East and that the women back home love my manly smell!" I said, " Yeah but you smell like an onion "! Wait to you go to the US see if the chicks will dig your onion smell. We aren't in Israel anymore sweethaaaaaart !" No more Israelis !

Italians are very charming they make you feel great about yourself they shower you with gifts, compliments and adoration. They are also the most romantic of the whole male race. They send you dozens of romantic texts.They call you " amore mio !" That was my name when I was with my Italian bloke " Amore mio this and Amore mio that!" They will bring you presents everyday. Designer clothes just in your right size. Italian hand bags in real leather that smells like true cow hide. Gorgeous bottles of perfume. Classic books of Jane Austen, written inside the flap how much they adore you. But is it all sincere? It probably is sincere. But dont' expect them to be faithful it's not in their genes. Italian men are so sucesssful with women because they make you feel like you are the most gorgeous women in the world. They also do this with probably a half dozen women at the same time they do it to you. I question their sincerity, but on the other hand they could be sincere. I think they just love women, it's a cultural thing.

Another great thing about an Italian man is that they are very gentlemanly. They will carry your bags. Take you to your front door step.Make sure you get home safely. Make you chicken soup when you are sick.They will pay for everything and feel insulted if you offer to pay anything.If you are dating an Italian, buyer beware. He probably has a wife back in Italy with two children, a mistress in Poland that he's had for 2 or three years, and on top of that half a dozen other flirtations t that he's probably met online. In the meanwhile, he's telling you how much he adores you and he can't wait to introduce you to his Mom and his family. He can't wait for you to live with him back home in Italy and teach you Italian, the language of love. He's lying to you, he's lying to her, he's lying to himself. (Just roll your eyes and don't believe a word he says). Start making plans to leave your lover. Don't buy into their generosity and their charm. But, they make good friends those Italian men. They are naturally warm and endearing. The only thing is who wants to be friends with a bloody liar.On a positve note, if you can put up with their philandering you might come out a winner. You'll have a great wardrobe know more Italian and know how to cook Cannelloni and crush grapes with your bare feet.

I dated my paisano Americano in London. Before I came to London I never much fancied American men. I thought they were rough around the edges, unsophisticated, not well travelled. All these cliches that the whole world about Americans I also thougt the same thing too. I know it's a shame that I could think so poorly of my own people. Back home I also dated many sophisticated, well travelled and highly educated men. But, something inside me was turned off by American men. Perhaps, the grsass is always greener on the other side. Living in London has taught me to appreciate American men more. After dating men from about 10 different countries, I can finally assess honestly that American men are the most generous, kind, open, feminist, and straightforward. I dated an American man he always insited on walking on the outside of the street just in case someone splashed water on my hoop skirt ( heehe).He was very gentlemanly and always offered to carry my big satchel. On the other hand, when I told them that I had myriad of professions they rooted my multi talentedness and diversity instead of making me out as some circus freak that can't focus. They are also very generous to everyone: they tip the waitress and taxi drivers 20%, whether they are rich or not. I think American appreciate my ambition,assertiveness and straighforwardness. Where with alot of European men they are threatened by my strength, an American man can handle me and bring out my best. My Italian boyfriend told me one time he thought I was too masculine. I just told him he was too feminine and that he could not handle me. ( He also couldn't change a light bulb to save his life. When I asked him to change the light bulb it took him two months, then when he finally did he broke the light bulb and he broke the fuse.) Whateeevah! I also think American men are more spiritual, espcially Califo rnian men. Most men in the world American or not, are just not interested in spirituality. They don't get it in the way women are naturally talking about Star Signs and the supernatural. That's just men for you ! Some English men though,unless they are Buddhist or are from Glastonbury ( is a new age village known for it's hippies and new age airy fairies )don't understand a thing about spirituality; karma, or New Age philosophy, metaphysics. It's not that they are closed off to it, sometimes they are interested in it and ask me lots of questions. But, many thinks it's airy fairy to talk about this stuff. It's just not in the culture so don't even bother.

So ladies if you can accept some of what I mentioned about Englsh culture English culture and try and focus on the postive qualities of English men (immigrants: European/ Middle Eastern/ Asian men),you are going to have a really fun adventure and unforgettable time. And, stories definitely you can tell your grandchildren and your friends and family back home.

I can write a book dedicated to dating around the world, but this is just a glimpse of my vast experiences. These are my personal experiences with men in London that has made me a wiser woman. OK dolls this has been my own uique experiences now be brave date as many men as possible and get back to me ( lol!) Maybe, we can write a book together.. Huh? Anyone out there, want to co-write a book with me?

Note Bene: Some of these vignettes are gross generalizations and gross exagerrations, it's all meant in the spirit of humanistic humor and fun.
No offense is meant so no offense is taken.If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Stay Tuned
Part 2:Dating in London: What it's like to date an English man.