6. Show interest in her life. If she says she likes scuba diving. Ask her if she's been to the coral reef. If she says she's really motivated to write her first screenplay ask her where she went to school and what are her favorite books.
7. Respect her feelings- If she says she doesn't want to drink any alcohol in the middle of the afternoon, don't insist that because you are partying hard because tomorrow is Diwali ( the Indian New Year) and that today you are letting it all hang out and going wild. If she just wants to have one drink that's her business.
Besides, if you push her to much into drinking she's going to think your just out to take advantage of her. It's so obvious.
8. Do go slow. Sometimes, it's best to just go slow and take your time. Nice and Easy like Sinatra says. This way your feelings can build up.The romantic tension can develop too. If you go slow, by the time you do finally kiss there will be some powerful fireworks and you'll have laid the foundation of a long lasting relationship.
9. Do value just being friends. Friendship is the basis and foundation for something deeper. Sometimes, a woman can fall in love with her friend. But, if you burn out the relationship too soon, you may loose that opportunity to ever be friends with someone and also you end up enemies too. Sometimes, a woman might fancy someone more than you at one time in her life but if you still like the person and want to hang out because you dig each other than by all means do so. Men should try to develop more friendships with women and by doing so will not only increase their success with women, they'll be able to understand their psyches much more.
10. Do be romantic and chivalrous- This could mean writing a note about what you like about her. On the first date, you can do one romantic gesture that says you dig her. You can tie her shoe, if it needs tying. Or, take her hand while she's crossing the street. Or, brush her hair out of her face. Or, put your arm around her. Or, wink at her while you are looking into each other eyes over dinner. These things are subtle, but ever so sexy and will warm her to you. You don't always have to bring a box of chocolates and a big bouquet of roses on the first date. That might be over the top. Unless, let's say you've known each other for years or have watched each other for months in the office and can't wait for some time to be alone together finally ! Or,you have been friends for years And the romance is there just waiting for one quiet night out to unfold your inhibitions. But, if you do it from the beginning and you don't' know her very well it could seem a bit pretentious and presumptuous. It could seem like you are trying too hard to win her and that's a bit of a turn off.
11. Have your own life. I think what makes a man attractive to me is that he has masculine drive and purpose in life. He has some towering goal he's working towards. He's powerful in his own way and that has nothing to do with what he says about himself it just shows in the way he walks and carries himself. He has dreams that he's made true and he 's working towards other dreams and you can see that he's a person that can manifest things. He has his own hobbies, friends,interests, goals completely apart from you.You can be someone that a lady could respect and admire.
Sunday 15 November 2009
Friday 6 November 2009
Dating Don'ts Continued
Here's More Dating Don't Continued.
6. Don't pick a generic restaurant
Story: It was my first date with this man that I had met quite naturally. I had a date once, we had planned to meet in Notting Hill where there are a lot of restaurants. We met at somewhere popular like Starbucks and then decided to go further. I asked him where he wanted to go for lunch. He said Nando's.
I just practically rolled my eyes.( Well, I did roll my eyes, but he just didn't see it.) I politely suggested that we go to some nice restaurant on Portobello Road. We ended up going to a nice Thai restaurant and we had ended up having fun. But, the key is to pick a restaurant that lets her know you spent ten minutes on google just to figure out where to take her. That she's that important to you. Or, maybe you are so hip that you already know of a chic fun restaurant. Men ! This doesn't have to be expensive something under £15 per person. We are not talking about five star restaurants here. Or blowing your paycheck on this woman you hardly know.And, if your a student £7 or 8. This is about using your imagination, creativity and personality
and showing her that you can be real fun man.
7. Don't compliment her looks or her outfit so much. A good looking woman
has been told all her life that she's beautiful. You can compliment her on her outfit because everyone wants to feel admired but do it to a minimum. Instead, compliment her on her uniqueness, her intelligence and her accomplishments.
Story: An intelligent woman wants to be admired for her individuality and creativity and the things that make her and her alone unique. Cue into that and you will win her over a little by little, of course, along with everything else.
8. Don't be pushy. Don't start hanging on your dates.
Story: I was at a movie once with this young man it was our first date. The guy he would not let me breathe he practically suffocated me. He just
hung on to me for dear life and hugged me so hard.I was annoyed that he
was not into the movie and was just too affectionate. And, hung all over me like a lost puppy dog. Gross. I wanted to push him away from me, but I didn't want to be rude. I felt like telling him: " Jesus, I just met you man would you control yourself, sit up straight up striaght and watch the movie, after all you just paid 20 quid to watch it ! Damn!
9. Don't be too affectionate-
Don't insist that you have to have kiss on the first date.
I often don't kiss on the first date. I like to have a connection to whom I am kissing and sometimes the first date seems a bit too unnatural or rushed to kiss someone you hardly know. Don't underestimate the relationship. Sometimes it takes time for sparks to fly.
Story: I had a long term boyfriend once, I didn't kiss him for like the first 5 dates. I quite fancied him for sure. I just like to take things slow. He was very persistent and he knew that I liked him, but he was quite patient at the pace I wanted to take the relationship. His patience paid off because we ended up being together for 2 whole years.
10. Dont' talk about heavy subjects. Don't hang your laundry.
Story:I went on a date with a man that talked about how he was in the Iraq and he saw his friend's leg get blown off by shrapnel. And, that he's still scarred by the act and traumatized so much that he can't sleep at night. This is scary for anyone to hear on the first date. Although, you want to get your life out on the open and you probably want to see her reaction, don't' do it. It's in poor taste. And, the other person doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to say except " Gee I am sorry about that! " It makes the other person feel really uncomfortable. You also run the risk of her feeling sorry for you. But, it makes you look like your life is there all hanging out and that you have no discretion or privacy. It's better if you just say something like I went to Iraq it's not a fun place and just leave it at that. If she likes you,then the next few dates you can reveal intimate things about yourself. I am sure she'll be compassionate. Most women are innately compassionate.But, don't' do it on the first date, its not a good impression and it makes you look like you are reaching out for sympathy even if that's not your intention. Or that you still haven't recovered from your trauma and you need someone to vent to.
In conclusion,it's harsh out there, but with a little hope and some good karma eventually I will find my Mark Darcy. This is a list of a Moron.Why don't you make up your own list on how to be a successful dater and send it to me because I am really feeling things as I go along.It would be nice if someone could give me a few tips instead of me always having to give everyone advice.( Lol!).Anyway, Mark Darcy is out there somewhere and it's just a matter of time before I meet him or run into him. Cheers, Sabrina
6. Don't pick a generic restaurant
Story: It was my first date with this man that I had met quite naturally. I had a date once, we had planned to meet in Notting Hill where there are a lot of restaurants. We met at somewhere popular like Starbucks and then decided to go further. I asked him where he wanted to go for lunch. He said Nando's.
I just practically rolled my eyes.( Well, I did roll my eyes, but he just didn't see it.) I politely suggested that we go to some nice restaurant on Portobello Road. We ended up going to a nice Thai restaurant and we had ended up having fun. But, the key is to pick a restaurant that lets her know you spent ten minutes on google just to figure out where to take her. That she's that important to you. Or, maybe you are so hip that you already know of a chic fun restaurant. Men ! This doesn't have to be expensive something under £15 per person. We are not talking about five star restaurants here. Or blowing your paycheck on this woman you hardly know.And, if your a student £7 or 8. This is about using your imagination, creativity and personality
and showing her that you can be real fun man.
7. Don't compliment her looks or her outfit so much. A good looking woman
has been told all her life that she's beautiful. You can compliment her on her outfit because everyone wants to feel admired but do it to a minimum. Instead, compliment her on her uniqueness, her intelligence and her accomplishments.
Story: An intelligent woman wants to be admired for her individuality and creativity and the things that make her and her alone unique. Cue into that and you will win her over a little by little, of course, along with everything else.
8. Don't be pushy. Don't start hanging on your dates.
Story: I was at a movie once with this young man it was our first date. The guy he would not let me breathe he practically suffocated me. He just
hung on to me for dear life and hugged me so hard.I was annoyed that he
was not into the movie and was just too affectionate. And, hung all over me like a lost puppy dog. Gross. I wanted to push him away from me, but I didn't want to be rude. I felt like telling him: " Jesus, I just met you man would you control yourself, sit up straight up striaght and watch the movie, after all you just paid 20 quid to watch it ! Damn!
9. Don't be too affectionate-
Don't insist that you have to have kiss on the first date.
I often don't kiss on the first date. I like to have a connection to whom I am kissing and sometimes the first date seems a bit too unnatural or rushed to kiss someone you hardly know. Don't underestimate the relationship. Sometimes it takes time for sparks to fly.
Story: I had a long term boyfriend once, I didn't kiss him for like the first 5 dates. I quite fancied him for sure. I just like to take things slow. He was very persistent and he knew that I liked him, but he was quite patient at the pace I wanted to take the relationship. His patience paid off because we ended up being together for 2 whole years.
10. Dont' talk about heavy subjects. Don't hang your laundry.
Story:I went on a date with a man that talked about how he was in the Iraq and he saw his friend's leg get blown off by shrapnel. And, that he's still scarred by the act and traumatized so much that he can't sleep at night. This is scary for anyone to hear on the first date. Although, you want to get your life out on the open and you probably want to see her reaction, don't' do it. It's in poor taste. And, the other person doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to say except " Gee I am sorry about that! " It makes the other person feel really uncomfortable. You also run the risk of her feeling sorry for you. But, it makes you look like your life is there all hanging out and that you have no discretion or privacy. It's better if you just say something like I went to Iraq it's not a fun place and just leave it at that. If she likes you,then the next few dates you can reveal intimate things about yourself. I am sure she'll be compassionate. Most women are innately compassionate.But, don't' do it on the first date, its not a good impression and it makes you look like you are reaching out for sympathy even if that's not your intention. Or that you still haven't recovered from your trauma and you need someone to vent to.
In conclusion,it's harsh out there, but with a little hope and some good karma eventually I will find my Mark Darcy. This is a list of a Moron.Why don't you make up your own list on how to be a successful dater and send it to me because I am really feeling things as I go along.It would be nice if someone could give me a few tips instead of me always having to give everyone advice.( Lol!).Anyway, Mark Darcy is out there somewhere and it's just a matter of time before I meet him or run into him. Cheers, Sabrina
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