What's like to be a Buddhist in London: To Trust or Not to Trust

Practicing Buddhism in London, is just like practicing anywhere else in the world.But,I believe that a practice will take on the mores, values,mental landscape of a country.In the recent March 2009, Art of Living magazine (The U.K Nicheren Buddhist Magazine),there was a discussion about a survey that was taken place all over Europe.

In it was discussed the following questions:
1) Generally speaking would you say that most people can be trusted, or that you can't be too careful in dealing with people?

2) Do you think that most people would try to take advantage of you if they got the chance, or would they try to be fair?

3) Would you say that most of the time people try to be helpful
or they are mostly looking out for themselves?

The research found that the UK had the lowest levels of trust
and belonging for every age bracket from 15 -50.Among the factors
which emerge as having a big negative impact on a country’s wellbeing
score are a general fear for crime and a lack of trust in institutions.
Also, the more time is spent watching TV, the more unhappy the country appears
to be.

So,how does a Buddhist practicing in the United Kingdom, reconcile itself in a country where people do not trust each other?
Do you trust people or do you not trust people? Are you damned if you do or damned if you don’t? To trust or not to trust, that is the question. So what do you do as a Buddhist in a country where people are untrustworthy? Where people hardly smile or talk to each other? And, if you do talk to someone on the tube they think your nuts. I say go ahead let them think your nuts. Smile. Talk. Who cares ! What do you have to lose! You can take the girl out of California, but you can’t take California out of the girl ! I am friendly and open. Talking to people, especially strangers gives me immense joy and pleasure. Plus, I am good at it (Lol)! One of my friends once said, I could talk to the person that called that had the wrong number. She's right. So why should I stop being friendly now? Should I think and behave as “When it Rome do as the Romans”? Maybe a little. Should I think yes, I’ll try to be less Californian and more a cynical Londoner.

Don’t you think when you don’t trust people you miss out on opportunities of sharing your life. In your paranoia, you might consider their good intentions, ill. I believe in balance. I believe having the wisdom to know who and when to trust is the best formula for a sane, happy and healthy life. My father always taught me be "spiritually discerning", wherever you are at. Meaning keep your antennaes aware. Most importantly, wherever I am at,"I am the Buddha!" Being the Buddha, I am the best version of myself. So, if the situation calls for it, I trust or don't trust, it depends on the situation.

The other day a woman in the tube station was balling her head off, she sounded so heartbroken, she made me sad. I went over to check up on her.Most people just ignored her, or seemd to be concerned but just did nothing. I thought maybe she had gotten raped or gotten in a big fight with her boyfriend. I went over to her and just said, "Hi are you ok?".I just let her know that I was there and she could talk to me if she wanted to. She kept saying, " Yes, I am alright". But, then she'd keep balling. I rode with her the whole train ride and she was crying the whole time.I asked her again if she was alright? "She said, yes, I am alright." But still kept crying hysterically.

Another similar situation occured at once again the tube station. As I sat down waiting for my train, I took a swig of my water from my big Evian bottle and the girl next to me, asked me," Can I have some of your water?" I said, " I am sorry, no!" She kept asking me like 3 or 4 times.Then,under her breath, she called me a "selfish bitch".I almost slugged her, but I thought to myself she's just pathetic and unhappy girl. My anger or retaliation would not have made things better. So I decided just to summon my buddha nature and be compassionate. I got on the train with her and sat across from her. She started to apologize, " I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am so sorry. I should not have called you that".I went and sat next to her,and befriended her. I told her," It's ok,forget it!" Followed by, "Listen, sister,I don't give anyone my water, not you, not my boyfriend not even my own mother. So, get over it!" She complained to me how unhappy she was( duh!),and how she didn't have money etcetera.Not even to buy a 79 pence bottle of Evian water. I am thinking to myself,yes I can give her my bottle of water, but that won't solve anything.It will not solve her water karma- (which could be taken as a metaphor for her thirst for happiness). Again, she said,"Your so nice and I am so sorry!I gave her a Nam Myoho Renge Kyo card and told her, if she chants she could have all the water in the world, and then some ( LOL !)She said, that she had chanted before.I told her,"keep it up Girl", and walked out of the tube onto the platform. Whoosh !

This is the second time people have asked me for water in the subway. I am thinking to myself, do I have the words Sucker or Nice person on my forehead, because they really don't leave me alone.

Often, in my life, because of my naïveté in thinking everyone is pure
and kind hearted like me,( Not !),I often have been too trusting. In these
occasions, I have hurt myself. I have learned they‘re are weird, strange and
not nice people out there. But, I have also evolved and grown because of my trusting nature, I have had experiences that I normally would not have had if I had been too cautious or too afraid. Slowly, through hard lessons, I have learned that there is a balance to all things,trust included. I don’t regret anything, because it’s better to live your life with an open and trusting heart, rather than being so cynical, and mistrustful that you miss out on the richness of life experiences and the beauty of having known someone, even for just a brief time.

Most recently, I went to a Buddhist Discussion meeting in the Notting Hill area of London.The theme was, Taking Responsiblity for our Lives Enables us to Grow.As you can see the members are from all over the world: England,Brazil, Sweden,India, Poland, China, and America (me and Mary Cavallaro). Afterwards, I always feel really refreshed, optimistic and joyful, no matter
what problems great or small I may be facing. Here are photos of the happy Buddhist members and as you can see they trusted me long enough to take their photos.(Heeheh!)

To find out more about Nicheren Buddhism: http://www.sgi-uk.org

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What's it like to be an American Buddhist in London. How is the practice the same and how is it different.

Being a Buddhist in London is not any different from being a Buddhist
in America. Remember that saying," you can run but you can't hide."
You carry your karma in a suitcase so it's with you wherever you go.
The Buddhist in London are lovely. Very well mannered. We have to sign
a log in book whenever we go to a Center. They want to keep track of
all the members, just in case there is a disaster or in London's case
a fire. Before meetings there is, what I call in case of a fire pep talk.
" Ok, just in case there is a fire everyone is to meet on the corner
of Hunter Street and Handel Street". I found it quite interesting and thought it was certainly because of the great fire of London in 1666 that wiped out most of the city. But when I had asked at a meeting everyone laughed and explained
to me it's most certainly not because of the Great Fire but
because of the Law. So there you have it.

Also, when the members get together to clean the centers. They do it in a very organized fashion. We put on uniforms and carry little carry all cases fully
supplied with rubber gloves, pine sol and sometimes eco friendly products
to clean our centers. Supposedly, cleaning the centers is a metaphor to cleaning one's karma. And, also a way of eradicating our ego and arrogance
that blocks us from achieving success in life. Nothing like cleaning the
toilets !I really look forward to it ! Seriously! It's quite humbling,
but it really feels great.

A thing I found most interesting is that our Monthly Kosen Rufu Gongyo sometimes takes place in people's homes or at a local community center.
Where in America we have big huge Kosen Rufu gongyo's where sometimes
up to a hundred people attend. In London it's quite different.
I went to Kosen Rufu gongyo at someone's house in Swiss Cottage-London, only to find only 4 people showed up.

The members in my group have visited me in my home and chanted with me.
The members in my Bayswater group have been quite supportive
and helpful. The Buddhist activity is called Keibi. The equivalent
of Byakuren( Young Women's Division- behind the scenes) are the Lilacs.
The Lilacs are quite diligent about giving you water as soon as your done drinking one glass they are their to serve you another one.

Being a buddhist in London is quite different from America.
I had to assimilate of course to fit in. There are Buddhist
members from all over the world in London. In the end, we are all the same
in our fight for happiness of ourselves and others.

LONDON IN THE SPRING TIME-HYDE PARK

LONDON IN THE SPRING TIME-HYDE PARK

The rain is gone, the grey skies are gone. The snow is definitely and
has been definitely gone. Now, spring is here and you can see it
in the flowers, the sun is shining again. All the londoners are enjoying
the outdoors and are taking full advantage of the great spring
after a long cold winter.

On Sunday March 22,2009, I went for a jog in Hyde Park and it was a good thing I brought my camera along. I definitely enjoyed seeing so many interesting people having a good time, enjoying the park and the freshness of Spring.





























SLIDE SHOW: LONDON IN THE SPRING TIME

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LONDON DIARIES

The Differences between America and England

When I first came to London I never expected
so many huge differnces. I always say, "same language,different culture."

I actually think it's a different language.
There is American -English and then there's
English- English.Some of those differences are of course the
language. I spent my first month or two
hardly understanding the British accent.
And, often going to the store to have people
tell me " I am sorry!" because they also couldn't
understand my English. (Well mostly, it's because
there such a large immigration populationg
that many immigrants don't speak English well.
That's another story. For another blog.)

First of all, it's true what they say
that the British are very polite.
It's reflected in the behavior and demeanor
of working class people.
I find the people working at the tube
station are extremely kind and helpful.
You could go to any one of them lost
and say to them excuse me I need to get to such and
such place. They always very patiently
tell you you must go this way and that
way. All very charmingly done while
saying "Darling","Love" or "Dear".
These cutesy words are mostly
used by the working class, but who
doesn't want to be called darling.

Another big difference is people seldom tip.
It's just not in the English culture. If you go to
a restaurant the service charge is already
implied in the bill. You can always
add more if you need to improve your
karma that day or what not (LOL !).
But, my British friends when we go out
to eat always tell me don't leave anymore
Sabrina.I always like to leave a little
extra and imagine that the waiter could
be my sister or my friend trying hard to
earn a living. Waiters often get
rubbish pay in England way below the minimum wage.
Many of the cabbies are often shocked
when I give them a few dollars
extra. They just aren't used to people
tipping them.

Another big difference is that Sundays
are sacred in England. London is such
a big bustling cosmopolitan city, but
on Sundays everything closes early.
Good luck if you want to see a late
night movie or want to go to a restaurant,
because many restaurants are closed.
Or if you want to buy groceries, you can forget it.
Everything closes by about 5 pm.

British drink way more than Americans
and it's an absolute national past time.
You can see people drinking at all hours
of the day. I can't believe
people start drinking around 12 pm.
I have never liked to drink that early
as it makes me very sleepy and just
useless. Also, The pubs close very early.
They close around 11 pm.And, so called Off Licence
stores stop serving liquor at 11 pm.

The English are very polite often apologizing
for the slightest thing. Even if you are the one to
bump into them they'll apologize to you, " Oh, sorry!"
They are quite nice saying, " thank you and please". S
orry I didn't want to offend. Basically, there politeness
comes from a sensibility to not want to offend
anyone. This is very noble virtue in my eyes.
But, on the other hand there is a lot of beating
around the bush.

For the moment, these are a few of the things
that I can think of that reflect the differences
between America and England. That's all I can think of
for the moment, but trust me there will be alot more
commentary on this matter. In my opinion, the fact that England is
so different from America makes it all the more intriquing
and inspring.

Whats it like to be an American in London

What's it like to be an American in London
So far it's been fun and easy being an American in London.
I have not heard any negative feedback. When you are travelling
and living in youth hostels and hotels, you get a chance to
meet so many different people from all over the world.
In my travels I have befriended people in London that
I have never had a chance to meet in America.
I became friends with a girl from Malta, Azerbijan,
Cyprus, Iraq, Bangledesh, Pakistan.

The common question wherever you go in London is where are you
from? Often when people ask me where I am from I often say with
great glee and pride in my voice, " I am an American."
or depends on my mood, " I say from California."
Never have I been so proud to be an American since
Obama got elected. So, when I tell people this
many people look at me wide-eyed really an American.
When I tell them I am California. They always
say," Wow California." I really want to go there.
Americans and Californians are popular in London.


But once in a while, you get some wanker or tosser,
that's English Slang that bad mouths my America.
Oh he doesn't know who he said that to the wrong
person.One time near a tube station, I got
oh Americans have no culture, no history.
It's the same old story people abroad think
Americans have no history, no culture, nothing to
be proud of. I hear, " Oh it's such a young
country, because it's only 200 years old."
Wait a minute, I tell him. America has culture!
Look at the great Music that has come out of
America. Look at Blues. Hey Blues Movement
has inspired the likes of The Rolling Stones
and Led Zeppelin. Both groups were inspired
and copied the styles of Muddy Waters, John Lee
Hooker. Need I say more. And as far as History
is concerned. Has not America shed blood on its
land for the rights of others. Look at the
Civil Rights Movement.Look at Martin Luther King.
And now look at Barack Obama. Certainly, Martin
Luther King set the stage in the sixties for the
possibility for a black President to be elected.
I don't think we are going backwards.
Obamas election was monumental because it symbolized
the American dream. That dream was not just
heard in America but all over the world.


At Breakfast at my hotel,( I don't go for breakfast
that much because all they serve is eggs, eggs,eggs
with this gross white bread, but I love the diniing
room so sometimes I just go for the tea.)
I met a Danish woman she was pining over going to Italy
and she was saying how much culture Italy
has. Then when I told her I was American
she tells me America doesn't have that much
history compared to Italy. Duh, of course it doesn't.
But comparing Italy to America is impossible.
It can't be done and it's futile and a dumb pursuit to
even try. It's like comparing Rock n Roll
to Opera. Both are wonderful and monumentally inspiring.
But, you can't compare them.You can appreciate
the art forms but they are different so you have
to respect their charms on their own without comparison.

So what if America is only 200 years old.
Just look where we will be 500 years from now.
Now a Black Man President, maybe 50-100 years from
now there will be a Black Woman President.


Americas actions finally speak louder than words.
America stands for freedom, opportunity
and the great dream of liberty, truth and justice for all.

Another thing is I was watching a British TV show
it showed that Americans Health Care system
is rubbish. But, they didn't show that many
people like myself get really good health care
in America. In Berkeley, everytime I needed to
go to the Doctors, I didn't have health
insurance but I would always go for a doctors
visit and just pay $15.
That was it. I am positive there are gaps in American
Health Care system but not everyone suffers in America
from poor health care. I don't, ok so if the BBC News
is reading this you can contact me and Interview me
about the great Health care I have been receiving.

How dare anyone talk shit about my America.
I just tell to Bugger off!

London When it Snows

Apparently,it has not snowed this hard in London
since 1991. On Sunday night, I met my American friend
Aaron Seibel for dinner.Half way through the appetisers,
we looked out of the panoramic windows and realized
it was snowing very very hard with burst of wind.
A few glasses of wine later we finally left
by then it was still snowing and the ground
was completely covered with snow. We were just
2 blocks from Big Ben so we headed over there
for some really fun photos. It was so much
fun to feel the snowflakes on my face.

Needless to say, it was so cold and I was so lazy
from all the wine, I could not make my way home because
all the tubes were closed. I didn't mind though,
because I got to stay at the Mariott Hotel, my
friend had the deluxe room that is right in front of the
London Eye. The next day, many
people had to cancel work and many of the trains
stopped running.London came to a virtual standstill today after
less than one inch of snow fell before morning rush hour.
Half the Tube lines were severely delayed, traffic was a mess,
and basically 7 million Londoners were running around like
chickens with their heads cut off. Basically, London,
gets very chaotic but even the Taxi Drivers
remarked that people seem to be in a better mood.

As a Californian, I haven't experienced much snow in my life
at all,so I am really enjoying it.
( British Accent:)But, I must take great care,
as to not to slip and fall on snow and make laughing stock
of myself.Falling on my bum would not be dignified at all.

Cheers,
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LONDON DIARIES


love, Sabrina

Kensington Palace - To Deb or not to Deb?

Recently, I went to Kensington Palace to view the last debutantes exhibition.
The exhibit takes visitors on a journey into the glamorous and alluring world of the debutante with a new exhibition marking the 50th anniversary of the last court presentations. The last debutantes were presented to the Queen at Buckingham Palace in March 1958. After making their curtesies, some cheeky debs stole palace teaspoons to take home as souvenirs.



The main aim of the debutante was to acquire and secure a weathy husband.
A debutante would go out into the world and attend a series of balls and parties for a season and other high society functions to attract an affluent man for the purpose of marriage.


To Deb or not to Deb? How does being a debutante hold up in today's modern world?Have expectations of men and women changed since the 1950's? In the exhibit, their was a multimedia video interviewing young Drama students from Charles Catholic Sixth Form College. In their video they reflect on their own experiences in comparison to the young debutantes of 1958. Unlike the debutantes, most girls want to work and be independent of a man. Most of the young women in the interview, stated strongly that it was highly imperative for their success to go to college and to have careers. They feel that their role as wife and mother were secondary to that of having a career and making something of themselves. In addition, that depending on a man to provide meaning and a sense of purpose was considered old fashioned and outdated.


After many young womens parents were paying fees to pretend to be a debutante, Finally, Lord Chamberlain claimed the end of a dying and outdated tradition and that was the end of the Debutante as we know it.

For more blogs by Sabrina Bravissimo


LONDON DIARIES

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Royal Historical Palaces

What should visitors expect?
The last debutantes exhibition will draw visitors into the world of the debutante.

Visitors experienced the bewildering rules of etiquette, dizzying schedule of presentations, cocktail parties and dances and they will have the chance to be schooled in the art of the perfect curtsey.

The glamorous gowns of some of the last ‘debs’ were displayed alongside photographs and personal memories, creating an evocative multimedia experience.

The exhibition will capture the spirit of a world in transition in which the status of the upper classes became a subject of fierce debate. With the diminishing spectre of world war, independence in the colonies and cultural revolution around the corner, the debutantes’ days were numbered.

Against a mix of ceremony and indulgence, the exhibition illustrates the social unrest, political activism and teenage culture that set the scene of change in Britain during the summer of 1958: the year of the last debutantes.


Fashionable afternoon dresses and ball gowns, including stunning examples of couture by Christian Dior and Pierre Balmain, as well as accessories worn by some of the ‘debs’ during the final Season of 1958 will be displayed in this multimedia exhibition which tells their stories against the backdrop of dramatic social change that heralded the arrival of the swinging sixties.

Wikepedia



In the United Kingdom, until 1958 debutantes were presented at court at the start of the social season. Only ladies who had already been presented were entitled to present another lady, which ensured the social exclusivity of the privilege. Most women were presented by their own mothers, but this would not be possible if their own mother had not been presented, or was dead or absent from Court for any other reason. Hence, it was possible to be presented, instead, by another eligible woman, provided she personally knew and could vouch for the lady being presented. As well as debutantes properly so called, older women and married women who had not previously been presented could be presented at Court. A mother-in-law might, for example, present her new daughter-in-law.

The presentation, to the reigning monarch, followed an elaborate ritual, and the debutante was required to wear distinctive formal court dress. In particular, they were required either to carry feathers (usually in the form of an ostrich feather fan), or to wear feathers as part of their headdress. [1]

Queen Elizabeth II abolished the ceremony of presentation at Court of debutantes in 1958. Attempts were made to keep the tradition going by organising a series of parties for young girls who might otherwise have been presented at Court in their first season (to which suitable young men were also invited). However, the withdrawal of royal patronage made these occasions increasingly insignificant, and scarcely distinguishable from any other part of the social season.

However, the expression "debutante" or "deb" for short continues to be used, especially in the press, to refer to young girls of marriageable age who participate in a semi-public upper class social scene. The expression "deb's delight" is applied to good looking unmarried young men from similar backgrounds.




LONDON DIARIES

Hampton Court Palace and Gardens

Picture 053,
originally uploaded by Sabrina Bravissimo.

Recently, I went to the Hampton Court Palace with my friend Aaron. I became a member of theRoyal Historic Palaces,which includes entry to all the grand palaces in London,plus the privlige of being invited to events unbeknownst to the public.The Five Great Royal Palaces are Kensington Palace,Tower of London, Banqueting House,Kew Gardens, and Hampton Court Palace.

Hampton Court Palace,was the home of Henry VIII, and his
six wives, that's right, six wives. King Henry VIII was desperate to
get an heir for throne, so he fought tooth and nail to get a proper wife
to bear him the proper male heir. Since, in those times it was deemed that only men could rule properly. The irony of it all, was that his daughter, Elizabeth ended up being the finest and most powerful monarch. England prospered and became very powerful and rich under her reign. Unfortunately, her mother Anne Boelyn was beheaded.

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My Neighborhood:Bayswater, Notting Hill Gate, Kensington

Currently, I live in Charming Bayswater which is located
2 blocks from Hyde Park in West London.
It's great to live so close to the Park because
on sunny days I can jog or if I am feeling lazy walk in Hyde Park.
Also, on Sunny days,( they do happen even in Winter)
I grab a croissant and a thermos and head down and walk through
Hyde Park and sit on a bench and have a great look at the Swans
and the Ducks and think about what I am going to do today
and think about the great mysteries of life, no, just kidding.


Straight through Hyde Park is Kensington Palace
and right next door, The Orangery.
The Orangery is great for tea and many
fabulous ambassadors and tourists dine there.
If you keep walking through Hyde Park for about 20 minutes,
you land on the corner of Marble Arch and Oxford Street.
Walk one block down and the fabulous and super cheap department
store,Primark is there. Primark, is one of London's great
finds. You can find really cool pajamas for £4 and
great berets for £5. All Londoners know and shop at Primark
for the cool chic clothes and great bargains.



OK, back to Bayswater,the neighborhood where
I have lived in for about 6 weeks now.Bayswater,
is opposite Hyde Park is a great little neighborhood,
filled with great Restaurants,two tube stations
( Queensway and Bayswater), a Skating rink, Casino,
Whiteley shopping Mall that has a Marks and Spencers
and an Odeon movie theater, and even a Tesco. Tesco, is the British
version of Ralphs or Safeway, but to me, it's more interesting
because they have all these great spices I have never seen before
(Morrocan Spices for Cous Cous, Bouqet Garni for Stews is only £1.29



Bayswater is big Arabic village, so many restaurants are Persian,
Middle Eastern and Lebanese. Many restaurants sell Shisha, which is flavored tobacco that you smoke from a Hookah.So, if you 'd like you can smoke your shishah and have some Morrocan Mint tea in these very groovy caravan type restaurants. I say,"No thank you! but you go on smoke your shishah and ruin your lungs see if I care." Anyway, it's a big past time in Bayswater.



If you walk West from Hyde Park on Queensway, make a left on
Westbourne Grove, you end up in chic and trendy Notting Hill.
Notting Hill where the famous movie with Hugh Grant and Julia
Roberts took place. My favorite chic street in Notting Hill is Ledbury
Road there is a Pisarro Gallery, a Dyptique pefumery and many
chic clothing stores. Notting Hill also has the cooleset restuaurant bar,
Beach Blanket Babylon where you can hang from the chandelier
in this ultra trendy restaurant that looks like a boat.



If you keep walking on Westbourne Grove you'll end up on Portobello
Road. Portobello Road is a shoppers paradise, it's about 100 stalls
of antique's and vintage finds.It's an absolute heaven and very fun.
When, I went today they had beautiful Swing Music playing,
which added a glamorous touch of a bygone era. If you continue walking
on Portobello Road for about 15 minutes, you end up at High Street
Kensington make a right and your about minutes to Kensington, another chic place for high end antiques. My yoga studio, The Life Center is close by.
If you walk another 5 minutes, you get to Kensingston Church Street,
Whole Foods London is there, being from California I feel like home
whenever I see Whole Foods, I get very excited. Anyway, Kate Hudson
was last seen there.If you keep walking another 10 minutes you end
up on Embassy Row, where you see the most glamorous and opulent
mansions that house the Ambassadors and the like. When, I went last
Sunday, there was a big riot in front of the Israeli Embassy
to protest the Gaza Attacks. You keep walking on Embassy Row
for 10 minutes (or longer if you want to admire the mansions)
and then you end up on Bayswater Road. Again, Hyde Parker right next to you.


You walk two blocks or as the Brits say 5 minutes and there,
you found my home. During this walk I found out later
they were protesting outside the Israeli Embassy for the attacks
in Gaza.


The whole loop takes about 45 minutes and in the freezing cold
is quite invigorating,energizing and very inspiring. It's Great Excercise
Blokes for burning off all the beer that you drink in the pub.


Cheers !

Beautiful, Eclectic Portobello Road in Notting Hill